Hi guys and gals,
This is a genuine question, please help where poss and Thank You in advance.
So I say sorry to you but you don't hear it because people or maybe even I, am always saying sorry to you? It means nothing, but in the moment it is all I can offer.
Also sometimes it isn't just that someone apologises because you may not know what they are apologising for (ie you may think Charlie Farlie is apologising for ruining your floor when he's apologising for wasting the milk he spilt, you get the idea).
And say I do apologise to you, will it actually make you feel any better?
- You know like I've just ruined your favourite £300 dress and it cant be fixed and it was the one you were dressed in when your childhood dog died in your arms and has huge emotional value. (you get I'm making this scenerio up, I mean I'm hardly likely to confess to ruining your dress I'm not that daft..lol. besides I forgot to ASK you in the first place if I could borrow it!).
So now I have apologised to you, but maybe I am apologising because I want you to feel better and I acknowledge your hurt (but actually I wasn't wrong or it was a grey area).
Thing is this, sometimes people think it s more important to be right than be happy, so they set aside the end result happiness, in order to be heard and weald the you shouldn't have done that axe.
The bottom line here is I was raised like the character in 'Sorry', " Sorry Mother" every other because I was always in the wrong, just breathing put me in the wrong.
So here I am again though this time not with mum. In all fairness in this scenerio somethings are my fault, Im far from perfect.
But for those who want to exact revenge doesn't a sincere sorry pour oil onto the flames as they feel they haven't got their pound of flesh.
So the question remains how do I apologise to you because, you deserve and apology, because you are worthy. Even if initially I may in the first instance, have been just doing my best. So I wore your dress to a 'charity fund raising event' and then ripped it..lol.
SO here I am willing to say sorry to you....how would you like it said baring in mind this time I may not be able to get away with joviality.
Would you like sorry, or would you prefer I'm sorry I shouldnt have torn your dress, or I am sorry what can I do to make you feel better, or Im sorry what would make you happy, or sorry I cant take back what I have done but how can I help you now?
Or any alternatives you can come up with.
I disagree sorry is the hardest word, it isnt, but being heard, saying it so the other can feel the full impact of your regret and genuine apologies so it can help them is another thing.
I've long since let go of the idea you only apologise for those things for which you are responsible.
For me hanging around in the past for too long only leads to trouble anyway...lol.