Struggling to cope in January

Good evening everyone,

I'm just reaching out to see if anybody would like to chat tonight ?

I'm feeling isolated and lonely having not ventured out from my cottage. Usually today, I would be busy plying my trade as tennis coach, working outdoors, but decided not to risk riding my motorbike in the strong winds. My coaching hours are down at this time of year as might expect, and not being able to deliver the hours I do have is frustrating to say the least !

I live by myself and am drowning in debt. I've had enough ! I'm struggling to write anymore, but just wondered if anyone else could do with a chat.

Damian

19 Replies

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  • Hello, I'm here! X

  • Hi Lucy,

    I have this reoccurring thought , that what if despite my very best efforts, the quality of life that I currently have is the best I'm capable of achieving.

  • I worry about that sometimes. I get myself into this state of mind where my life seems so unimportant in the greater scheme of things and I'll never have anything to look forward to. I guess it's about change your mindset, although I can't say I've managed to achieve that yet! What are you up to this evening? X

  • Hi Lucy,

    Staring at the TV, watching the latest hopefuls on 'The Voice'. I've been inside all day, and whilst I usually long to be off my motorbike at this time of year, in some ways the struggle of making difficult journeys, that almost assume epic proportions (even though the commutes are only 40 miles or so,) gives me a sense of achievement.

    I am trying to 'winter well ' and take each day as it comes, and take the time to prepare the Spring when i am busier and slightly more in control of my finances. I wish I could snuggle up in a burrow and push my head up with the snow drops, which coincides with the February half-term and when coaching picks up a bit ?

    What are you up to Lucy?

    Thank you for your messages, Lucy, they are greatly appreciated. You were there. X

  • Yes, it won't be long until the Spring sunshine appears. What kind of coaching do you do? I'Ve ordered a take out and I'm watching Eastenders from last week! Might do a bit of stuff for work next week, cos I'm so rock 'n' roll on a Saturday night!

  • Hello Damien

    Do you do your tennis inside at this time of year.

    Before I became disabled I was a Qualified Part Time Youth Leader and would take Table Tennis for a couple of hours three times a week. The course I took was with the County Council and eventually I was given my own club after a given time after the course. Some of the Leaders used to take indoor Tennis and as you can imagine when they had to restrict their classes the older they got.

    One of the lessons I got into was Ballroom dancing and a female leader and I would give lessons to the kids when they were in the last year of school, all very interesting.

    Now I am registered disabled and I cannot do the things I used to be able to do so I now end up doing voluntary work for the NHS as I am now sixty four I need an interest.

    Can you not take classes and give night classes in other sports over the winter months. At least it would give an outlet and possible income as when we suffer depression it can sometimes jump on our heads and give us very low moods, not helped by winter nights.

    How did the cold do, all gone ?? I had the dam thing about six weeks ago and try as I may could not get rid of the cough.

    We live on the Scottish England border and it can really get cold here, we used to live further down country and we were sheltered. Now we understand why the Scots like their porrage and malt whiskey, they need to keep warm.

    BOB

  • Hey Bob, how are you? You've done such a lot haven't you? I'm looking to do some volunteering this year. Still trying to decide what to do x

  • Hello Lucy

    I am fine how is all going with your MAM, We were shopping today and nearly got blown away. When I was younger I was taking ballroom lessons and dancing three times a week.

    Also doing Youth work three times a week and went swimming before dancing three times a week just to keep going.

    I really miss it all now, although I have just been put forward for NHS CQC, to go with my Healthwatch and PPG at GP surgery.

    I can always find something for you to do LOL. Although you always seem busy.

    Organizations will always find something for you to do !!!

    BOB

  • Mum is comfortable and thank you for asking. Now she's on proper pain relief (high dose morphine) she seems so much more relaxed. It's almost like the news we had last week was a mistake or something.

    When she was in hospital I noticed how incredibly busy the staff were and some of the elderly people were getting quite distressed. While Mum was sleeping I found myself chatting to some of them and I realised how just having someone to talk to seemed to really help. I'm thinking about looking into volunteering with people with dementia or Alzheimer's perhaps?

  • Hello Damien

    Do you do your tennis inside at this time of year.

    Before I became disabled I was a Qualified Part Time Youth Leader and would take Table Tennis for a couple of hours three times a week. The course I took was with the County Council and eventually I was given my own club after a given time after the course. Some of the Leaders used to take indoor Tennis and as you can imagine when they had to restrict their classes the older they got.

    One of the lessons I got into was Ballroom dancing and a female leader and I would give lessons to the kids when they were in the last year of school, all very interesting.

    Now I am registered disabled and I cannot do the things I used to be able to do so I now end up doing voluntary work for the NHS as I am now sixty four I need an interest.

    Can you not take classes and give night classes in other sports over the winter months. At least it would give an outlet and possible income as when we suffer depression it can sometimes jump on our heads and give us very low moods, not helped by winter nights.

    How did the cold do, all gone ?? I had the dam thing about six weeks ago and try as I may could not get rid of the cough.

    We live on the Scottish England border and it can really get cold here, we used to live further down country and we were sheltered. Now we understand why the Scots like their porrage and malt whiskey, they need to keep warm.

    BOB

  • Hello Damian,

    I'm about if you want to chat. Sorry you aren't feeling too good this evening.

    Sarah

  • Hi Sarah,

    Thank you for your message. Everything is such an effort at the moment. I would like to break out and elevate and change my life. I have ideas and ambitions, but am 'stuck in a rut'. I'll always be me, and I'm so sick or being me! I'm also single and really miss sharing my life with someone.

    How's your day been ?

    Damian

  • I feel like that about being single, too, but then I think about when I'd actually get time for dating, and I remember why I am!

  • My day yesterday was full of visiting family, dad, stepmum, mother in law. Long day and very windy walking the dog. Nearly got blown away on Epsom Downs.

    Damian, I think many people find this time of year to be hard. It is dark and miserable. Also the new year for me just seems to underline everything we aren't. A small change is often more manageable. I have joined a walking group on meet up which is part of Surrey ramblers but is for those a bit younger. Anything that just seems a bit positive or something you would enjoy. I know it won't fix things but it might help a bit and things like that are very inexpensive if not free. Same as volunteering. It also increases the social network and potentially your professional network. It's hard so I'm not lecturing but hope you have a more upbeat day today,

    At least it isn't raining yet.

    Sarah x

  • Hi, Well the wind is really bad in Manchester along with the Rain but seeing the national weather we are not so badly off compared to Scotland - poor people with no power. Winter is a difficult time can be so

    depressing without suffering from depression ha ha. I hope your New Year improves and you get some luck - in 2015 well its Sunday Morning in Manchester and it looks like four in the afternoon dark and windy

    it makes you feel like staying in bed and passing the day by - but once I put so music on and a couple of lights things might feel different (here goes) I am thinking about you in that little cottage sounds nice try not to worry about dept I know that can be difficult - take care juex

  • Chronic headaches xmas bills, work say no more. Glad when January is over. I try and be positive but it can be difficult. Keep,in touch

  • Hi Damien how are u x its not a very nice day at all I went in town and god I wish I never lol xxbut sometime u need to get out xx shell xx

  • You're doing the right thing by staying in touch with people. Hugs. Don't watch reruns of people struggling to define themselves by becoming famous! You won't learn anything from them as they are freaks of nature and extremely lucky to win! I like to keep making new friends on Facebook etc. Mostly I friend local people whom I have a chance of meeting IRL. Then I try to keep my calendar full with activities with them- a coffee here, a photo trip there, a movie or go to someone's house for pizza and DVD/cable TV. We even make our own pizzas to save money! So you're in debt - make sure you have a little treat every day so you're not feeling 'deprived' all the time, but no BIG treats until all the debt is manageable again. Keep talking to us - we could compare crits on movies or music or books or tennis-players!

  • Hi there, If you need to talk I am always here. I havent been out for months so I know how you feel. Get debt advice from CAB or Money Advice Centre before it gets on top of you even more. They have always given me good advice in the past. Keep your mind active with productive things or things you enjoy doing which can be done indoors. There is awlays the phone or computer if you want to chat or play games. You coul join things online too like gaming website, ancestry.com, facebook, poetry website, anything just to have someone to chat too. The debts are always manageable with help. Watch Martin Lewis on TV. He is brilliant. Claim back that PPI while you have more time on your hands. Do all those odd jobs around the home.

    Hope you feel better soon. It's 6.37am here and I can't sleep so if you want to chat, just ask

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