hi, I don't have any friends around and no one to talk to.
I tried to self help and it worked for a while but now my mind seems to be wondering to the darkest of thoughts, the only thing stopping me is the possible pain that I will cause others but even that is starting to dissipate and I'm starting to think that ending my life is the answer and that others will be upset for a while but soon all would be ok for them.
I tend to just go with the flow everyday, i can't do anything that is right or enough.
My fiancée complaints that i don't do enough to help her, my boss says the same at work, my parents did the same at home when I was there!! but i feel like i do, but what I do is never enough for the people around me and when I do go, and do stuff in the end it's not enough. all this feelings are worse in winter.
I always think that things would be better without me around, and that I'm a waste of space and a person with nothing to offer to this world.
I have this anger in me that wants to come out but only does in screams and at times by hurting myself.
I can't see how I can get out of this cycle that is consuming me and is taking me into a place of darkness.
I am thinking that my life is not worth living.
I fail at everything that i do from my job to love, friendship, day to day tasks all seems to end in disaster.
how can i keep on going what is the point, it would just be so easy to end it, no more pain no more worries, no more letting others down , no more sadness .. the only thing that I would miss would be my dog but even him would forget me soon enough.