Hello I'm Susie I joined this website today because today I can't seem to stop crying. I've told with mental health for eight years and I don't seem to be getting anywhere . I am 40 years old. I just recently divorced from a man who cheated on me I don't have feelings for him any more After 16 years of abuse emotional abuse and domestic violence I feel like that pot of love is empty. I have two beautiful wonderful children who are the light of my life, and I find it really hard sometimes to make a decision about our future. I'm English and I live in south wales and I've had a brilliant career up until I moved to south wales and I just fill the opportunities on down here for my children like the opportunities I had in England in Surrey . And yet we have built a life down here now children have friends they like their school I've got good friends but I feel very alone in making this massive decision on whether to move back to England to where I have family. I do have family down here but we are not the type of family that can talk to each other. I'm on antidepressants but today I just seem to be crying over i Don't even know I think that's the worst part of it. I am seeing the doctor today because I'm losing my hair and can't seem to get over that fact are you used to have a beautiful thick glossy mane of curly hair and now it's just so thin I just can't seem to find them that I'm losing my hair I'm overweight and I feel like I'm a complete and utter wreck and failure at the moment .