My life isn't moving even a millimeter of a step

Hi everyone,

I am a recent graduate with no job a.k.a unemployed for 6 months now.i have lost already 50% of 2014 being unproductive. I have applied for various jobs online and few offline and there is nothing. I am a born again christian and my life has not been bearing any fruit for the last 6 months. I feel like my life is barren and i have been having this voices in my head disturbing me and telling me how worthless i am and how unproductive i have been.

I feel lost because as the first born i have to be showing a good example and direction to my siblings but i am not doing so.

i feel lost and i don't know where to turn to plus i am broke and living at home with my parents hence depending on them.

i hate been dependent on them cause i burden them.

i have no faith left in me about my situation turning around and i have not been so Godly. I have disappointed both God and my parents with nothing to show out of my life. I feel really ugly and i don't know what to do and feel like my 6 months looking for a job has been nothing because i haven't depended on God 100% and all i do is pay for my pathetic mistakes.

8 Replies

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  • Don't think to yourself that it is your fault. It isn't.

    Have you read my recent posts? We are in a similar situation. I am a graduate of Biology and I wanted to be a teacher. I got on one of the most prestigious teaching courses in the world but I failed. That was this year. And I have done absolutely nothing with my honours degree. I moved in with a bf 7 months ago and it was amazing but it wasn't working for him so I moved back to the parental home last week. This has been really tough.

    I have mostly worked in retail but finally got a descent job in a contact centre. It's no where near as much as I would have earned as a teacher but it's still more than I got in retail. It is full time which is really hard to get in this modern day and there is a great pension scheme. I got this because I worked for free in work experience while claiming job seeler's allowance and I applied for about 100 office jobs in two weeks or so.

    It is incredibly hard in this generation. I have felt like a failure most of this year and feel a little like that now because I don't earn enough to get a mortgage on my own. It really sucks for young people right now and Job Seeker's Allowance isn't exactly enough to live on!! I got £56 per week and my parent's wanted £60 for digs. It's a joke. Fair eough that's what you should get if you simply can't bothered working, but for those who are trying it flat out sucks and the government aren't doing much to help.

    But anyway, that's my rant. I have been on JSA 2 or 3 times now, even though I have a 2:1 science degree! But hey, I only wasted 4 years lol. I'm just happy I didn't come out with any debt.

    Don't beat yourself up. It's the state of the country that is stopping you from getting a job, not your own failure! You just remember that. And there are hundreds in your position. With an education and no job.

    Have you tried applying for contact centre work or just jobs relating to your degree?

    I would suggest applying for everything! I was applying for cleaning work before I worked here. Any job is good as it gets you out of this rut and makes you get up and do something. Apply for part time work too. If you get a job you hate, keep it until you find something else. Apply for a hundred jobs like I did! And recruitment agenices are good.

    Also, you could do all the housework so you don't feel like a burden to your parents? It's a way of showing appreciation and they will know that you are trying.

    Don't give up xx

  • Thank you so much for the reply.

    Stay Blessed

  • Hi I really feel for you and it's so awful you feel this way. Things will get better for you. Try to take small steps which are manageable such as a good walk or meet up with a friend, this will help you and forget about impressing others including your parents. The main thing just now is you and your well being and it is not being selfish to look after yourself. everybody feels like a failure at some point. It took me ages to get a job but I found even the duff jobs made me feel better, or volunteering too which helps bring structure. Have you seen your GP? They could put you in touch with some advice centres too. hang on in there.

  • Hello

    None of this is your fault, it is the system that wreaks the soul of many decent people. We all on here could go on and on and no matter what we say the system has been breaking down for years.

    Many of occupations on offer are not full time work and are just part time and this fails the people that are trying to get on in society.

    None of this is your fault, with regard to your faith, our Lord is not looking for work and will understand the situation you find yourself in. That part of your life is covered and you should not loose your faith.

    All I can suggest is that you are not a failure and if anyone is saying otherwise should close their lips

    Do not worry have a good Christmas and a profitable New Year.

    BOB

  • Hi, I am going through the same things as well. I graduated this year with a 2:1 degree in Psychology (ironically) and Criminology. I found the last 5 months difficult. I would bottle little things up, feeling anxious all the time even going into town by myself was difficult because I lacked confidence. I was living with my Aunt and Uncle. Even though they were supportive, I felt uncomfortable. I had panic attacks. I thought people around me were judging me. I felt pressured to find a decent job because some of my friends had already got jobs. I got a temp part time job at Primark for a bit of money. Because I was living with my Aunt and Uncle, I didn't want to be lazy because I was scared they would judge me if I didn't work and was productive. It was all in my head and a vicious circle. It got to the point were I wanted to leave the house because it was boring but I was too anxious to go out. My worries were constant esp. about the future. It was only today that I was diagnosed with depression. I would have never thought it was depression. I suspected it but then I was like nahh..it's only because I have been plastering my pain all too well and hid it from everyone because of the stigma. I was even scared of taking the anti-depressants prescribed at first because I was denying it. Now I know that I can't force myself to do something my mind and body cannot do at this moment. My mental health is unhealthy. I need to get better first before tackling the "real world".

  • I have been there too. I think it is a trial that most go through at some time. Being unemployed can definitely bring on low spirits and depression. Having been in this situation more than once I will tell you what I did but first let me recommend a great book: "What color is your parachute" by Richard Bolles. I first bought this book years ago but a quick look in Amazon now and I see it is still for sale and up to date. It will be in most libraries too I assume. One of the things this book recommended was treating job hunting as a full time job in itself. Now to be honest when out of work I found it hard to spend 8 hours each day doing things to get a job (updating skills, applying for work etc) but I probably did manage at least 6 hours most days I think.

    Also something a careers adviser in my Church said was (he was an accountant and employer and in spare time volunteered on mentoring others on getting work): "for every job we want to obtain there are a number of steps we need to take to get it. Now we never know beforehand how many steps it will take. But suppose we did and say they were 35. Then everything we do will bring us closer to getting that job" I.E. every time we update our CV, attend an interview (but not get an offer), network, apply for a job, update our skills etc, knowing this helped me more easily stay positive and focused.

    The first time I found it difficult to get work in my field I did a postgraduate course - a Masters. For me this definitely boosted my employment prospects and I then had no problem getting a job as a computer programmer. After a few years working in this field I left to do missionary work for a year and half (I'm LDS) and then decided to change career and do teaching when I came back. After a few years of teaching i decided to go back to computer programming but it was an industry that moved on really fast so my skills were outdated. I was unemployed for a short time and got a stop gap job in a call center and some library books and a computer system. I looked on job sites to see what employers were looking for and just studied up on these things. I also did a great employment workshop which our Church runs for free and is open to anyone. It helped me identify my skills and write about them concisely in my CV and also talk about them in an interview. This really boosted my self esteem and made me feel like I was brilliant! Once I felt that my programming skills were up to date (about 6 months of hard study and sample programming) I started to apply for jobs. I think I got my first offer within 2 weeks. After a year of working the company let 1/3 of their programmers go so there I was again out of work. I was quite stressed but applied for more jobs and I remember my first interview went terrible and I was unable to answer some of the technical questions. However as I drove home (crying all the way - very therapeutic) I determined that I would study up and make sure I would be able to answer those questions if they came up in subsequent interviews. It only took a few more weeks to get a job offer.

    So in short you all can do it! Picture it as a set of steps you need to take and everything you do related to getting that dream job will take you a step closer to getting it. One more thing my husband owns a small IT company and last year they took on a marketing graduate. At the time she had been working in Tesco's stacking shelves and that impressed them that she was willing to do a stop gap job while applying for the real thing.

  • Yes I feel for you but I do know that you are not alone in this situation - ie shortage of work

    Take any job for now even if its at Asda or Tesco or bar work, or go to your Local food bank

    and work for free!!! you could not have disappointed your parents everybody knows the current

    situation on the job front for students finishing uni its hard. Just go down the job center

    register and tell them you will do anything. Work of any kind will do your soul good you are young

    and have a lot to offer - do not give up type out your CV walk round every shop company in your area and give them ---- try not to dwell on the things you think you have done wrong, look forward and learn from

    the past,,, I wish you good luck and remember your not on your own in this situation. You must get up and

    go dont give up ever something will turn up its not easy.

  • Same here - I graduated in 2009 with a 2:1, worked for free for a year to gain experience in my field (museum education), got a few temporary jobs helping out at the museum, then successfully got a year-long paid job as curator, but only on a short-term contract, so hello unemployment once more. That was six months ago, and now I'm cleaning at a local cafe, and helping my uncle with the accounts on his rental business. I tried the job centre when I first graduated and couldn't get anything, but they made me feel bad for having a degree and I ended up crying every time I went there, so I don't want to go back, especially now that they've got even more strict. I have depression and anxiety - I keep looking for jobs, but 100 people recently applied for ONE temporary, part time christmas post in our Waterstones...and most of them had degrees. The other stuff that's available (nursing, teaching, technicians) I'm not qualified for. I work really hard, and I'm volunteering in a local charity shop too to get retail experience...it just seems I can never catch a break.

    Well, I thought I had, when I got the curator job, but that led nowhere. I've since applied for two jobs with the same company, and didn't even get an interview.

    *sigh*

    Anyway, point of this ramble is that it's not your fault - there are a lots of other people in the same situation as you.

    Carmela x

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