I have just realised that I can't remember a time when I was happy. I have always suffered with high and low mood, but at the moment the extremes are even more extreme!! I am 43, but feel like a teenager. I am married to a fabulous man and have two sons (aged 14 and 8). I have a lovely house (no mortgage), brand new Mercedes and no money worries. I'm not bragging, but trying to show how I am still not happy even with all these things. My husband loves me and supports me as best he can. I just seem to need the validation of others, mainly other men, to make me feel like a worthwhile person and when I don't get it (or they feed me lots of lies) I go downhill. I have done some bad things recently and been used - I knew this was happening but couldn't stop myself. It is so out of character. I get so intense about everything and my husband commented that he finds me "too much". What is the matter with me? I feel so ashamed of who I am and what I am becoming.