Don't want to feel like this anymore

Hi all, I'm James and I'm new to this and don't know where to turn, I feel so low and alone right now, I have recently split up with my partner and become homeless as a result as well, I'm 40 and she is 25 her parents don't think I'm right for her, I have a chequered past also, I have previous relationships with whom I have children however I have never felt this way when they broke down, to the extent that I want to take my own life then everyone can just forget about me, really don't want to feel like this anymore but I don't know what to do

10 Replies

  • James i am sorry you are feeling this way. You may find it better to click "for this community only" when you post as it locks your post; i know some people won't reply if it's not locked. You can click "edit"and do it now.

    Really I'm in a bit of a tired state myself but did not want you to think we were ignoring you. I am sorry to hear of your situation and hopefully you will find some support on here. Did you see your doctor at all or do you have any involvement with the services? It is never the answer to end it all but sometimes we can feel like that when we feel unsupported which is why I am wondering if seeing your GP or a mental health charity could help you at all.

    Gemma X

  • Hi Gemma, no I haven't seen anyone with regards to this, that's my next step, calling nhs 111, don't feel I can approach gp, it's just so hard at the moment as there is other factors in all of this rather than just the relationship breakdown and being homeless, thanks for replying, don't know how to edit as on phone x

  • Hi James and welcome here. Sue has given you a great answer and

    Everyone else too. A relationship breakdown is very hard, and being

    Homeless, is a double whammy. People can survive it if they have

    Support, I hope you stay around here and we will do our best

    To support you.


  • If you feel her parents think you aren't right for her, then that will be going against the relationship. Have they actually said anything or is it just a suspicion you have? Because when there is a huge age gap there can become a problem if one has an issue with it deep down and they don't deal with it.

    I will say that there is a huge age gap between me and my boyfriend as well. But my parents are actually supportive of us. Of course, they do worry but that has a lot to do with my past relationships and also the fact I suffer from anxiety. I know my mum worries which I don't like as she has enough to worry about. But I think my boyfriend is amazing. So I don't think anyone should be prejudiced towards age gaps. So what, as long as you look after and appreciate one another right?

    Do you mind me asking why you broke up?

    The depression you are feeling is normal when a relationship ends. How long were you going out for?

    Have you suffered from depression in the past? If so, it may be wise to speak to you doctor.

  • Hi James nice to meet you and welcome to the site. I wonder if your depression is caused by a sense of failure coz reaching 40 can make you evaluate your life, I know I did then. It's like a milestone isn't it?

    I agree that it is normal to feel depressed at the end of a relationship especially if you are homeless now as well. But when you reach rock bottom the only way is up isn't it? I agree you need to see your doctor if this continues as meds and/or counselling might help you. x

  • Hi James

    I am sorry you are finding things so very difficult now. It sounds as though you have struggled to maintain previous relationships and that now things are catching up with you, perhaps because of the stage of life you are at.

    You say you have become homeless as a result of the most recent relationship splitting up, does that mean you shared a home which you have left? That must be extremely hard on you! You also say you question whether you want to live - but writing on here and asking for help suggests you do want to live despite what has happened in your life.

    Your first priority needs to be getting somewhere to live. I can't offer advice about that and can only hope you have some support locally or that someone else on the site can advise you in ways I can't.

    When you have sorted out a home then it may be a good time to look at yourself and your life. You do not say whether you have a job, if so then that may help you to maintain daily functioning whilst you come to terms with what has happened. You could ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor in order to talk through the pattern of your relationships breaking down or if you have sufficient income you could seek help from a private therapist - make sure the person is on one of the national registers - UKCP or BACP, google to find them. You might also consider Relate as they see people on their own about relationships difficulties.

    I do hope you manage to find a way to move forward and find a more satisfying relationship in future.


  • Hey James,

    If she's letting her parents dictate her relationships, you're probably best off out of there. Plenty more toads in the pond. I discovered my lowest point after a breakup too, so I kind of understand how you're feeling. Don't be frightened about thoughts of taking your own life. They are more common than you think and sometimes you need to work through these feelings to develop coping strategies.

    Stick around and get to know everyone, James, we're not a bad bunch!

    Lucy x

  • I just had to say what a lovely person you are. You have been really helpful.

    I'm new here but I've been reading your posts. Sending you a big hug honey people like you inspire me to carry on.


  • Was that meant for me?! X

  • Yes it certainly was!

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