I've been away, everything got bad

I've been gone for quite some time now, it was originally because I went on holiday for several weeks, but once I got back, everything just got destroyed. I don't know what happened. I tried to overdose on pain killers about a week or so ago, but failed. I am so pathetic I couldn't even kill myself right. I got to the stage of throwing up and being extremely ill. But now I'm just stuck in a pit and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I just don't see the point. Everyone is leaving me anyway, why carry on like this? I want to be better again, I want everything to be easy again. But I'm starting to think it never will be

5 Replies

  • hi torot, I realise that you are having a tough time and I am sorry that things have got bad again, but all I can do is hope that you will

    contact the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 or by emailing jo@samaritans.org They have people who will listen any time of day.

    also speak to your gp - they might be able to help.

    if you feel suicidal at any time then call the samaritans, go to your nearest a&e or dial 999.

    things can improve, it might take time, but it can.

    I'll be on here monday evening, please come back on and tell me how you've been.

    Where was your holiday? sounds interesting.



  • Hi, I'm trying my best <3

    I will try to call them next time things go down hill

    I went to turkey for a few weeks and then up to scotland for 2 or 3 days

  • Sorry that you're feeling like this. First thing in going to day is you're not pathetic, the fact that you threw up means that your body was fighting the poison, which means that do inside you wanted to fight which is great, there's still that fight in you, we just need to find it. What did the doctor/paramedic say when they saw you after your od? If you didn't see one, please do because you could've done damage to your body that you don't know about. You did everyone is leaving you? What's happening? Are they moving away? Please talk about how you feel, there are some great professional help groups out there and some volunteer groups as well. I know it doesn't seem like it but by talking to someone and opening up you'll start to feel better. Xx

  • Hi Torot

    Pulling out from rock bottom is always very difficult, but you have realized it’s what you want and with that you won’t be carrying on the way you are at the moment, so please put that one thought out of you mind if you can.

    Every thing you do now is to move away from what has just happened. Hamble and Dizzywizzy have given wonderful advise here and you need those life lines at the moment.

    Putting your problems out in the open either to your GP or councilor gives them a starting point to help, you could well need the boost of some antidepressants to help your mind start to focus on moving forward, rather than being stuck under a stone.

    Sadly family, friends, those around us come and go all the time and it can be easy to feel alienated from the world. But others always come into it all the time and you never know who will next be in your life to motivate and bring back the joy of living. But first you need to look after yourself with compassion to feel a little better.

    There really are a lot of tools out there that are going to help you decide on what is going to be the best way forward for you, change is inevitable, that’s part of life. So you are truly not stuck where you are and things can get better.

    Lots of Hugs to you

    Moni xxxx

  • Hmm... A lot of people feel depressed after a holiday. It's a downer having to come back after being free for so long. It means you have to come back to your routines and deal with the same rubbish in your life - especially if you have a hectic life.

    This si why I try not to have so many highs in life. Like really looking forward to somethign and gettingreally excited. Because what goes up must come down, for every high there's a low.

    Do you feel like maybe when you were on holiday you left the depression behind, like maybe you felt able to run away from it?

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