Just thought I would check in. Its been about a month since I last wrote on here. Im trying to get into a new way of life. So far so good but I still get times where I get low and have no energy (like today). I often wonder where my life is heading. Im quite happy doing voluntary work but I need a bit of extra money. I am receiving a small amount of ESA and I have applied for PIP but it is taking a long time to hear anything about my claim. I have filled in a long form about my condition as I feel unable to hold a job down at the moment so I hope I hear something soon. Is anybody else waiting for a response from DWP. What else can I do to speed this up!
As for my daily life I have a routine with going to the gym, doing voluntary work and meeting a friend each week. This might change next week as it is the school holidays. I hope this change doesnt set me back.
Hope everyone enjoys the good weather. Dont let the heat get you too exhausted. Take plenty of rest. I feel I have to convince family and friends how I feel, especially when I have to keep resting.
I may seem lazy but this horrible illness saps every drop of energy at times.
People say 'Oh I know how you feel, I feel tired too in this heat' but no body knows how we feel unless you have suffered with depression.
I have to get the energy to go to the gym now. It does make me feel good after Ive been, but only for a few hours. That is long enough to get some jobs done.
Im like an old car or motorbike which is difficult to start, but when Ive had a kick start I can last a few hours.
Oh well here goes.
Have a good day.
David
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Golfer15
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It sounds like you are managing to carry on and are generally doing well, even though you're still struggling a little. I can see how much effort you're putting in - be proud of yourself.
I'm not sure what advice I can give about your claims but I really hope you hear a response soon. I guess if you feel you've waited long enough you could ring their helpline or something and ask them how they're getting on?
I'll just put it out there that, even though you're managing you're depression fairly well at the mo, if you're still feeling lethargic and low, it probably wouldn't do any harm just to check in with the GP, explain what you're doing to help yourself and see what they suggest. Glad you're mostly feeling better anyway.
Also, don't forget to get out in the sun. I've started to chill out by sunbathing sometimes with my earphones in. It really does help.
I am also trying for pip, its gonna take six months I believe, and I don't know whether I will get it even then.
In my circumstances its due to the accident I had last year and also my own depression and anxiety.
I Don't take meds for the depression but have gone into a relapse at the moment.
I will eventually get back to some form of work ,but don't know what yet , I may just end up delivery driving or working in a store ,im not really bothered as long as I get to work around people again.
I have managed to settle my compensation with the other drivers insurance, but as I have another ten years to work , it wouldn't allow me to retire on medical grounds but will allow me to pay off my mortgage, fix up the house get a decent second hand car, and invest the rest for my future .
It was reading one of your posts that made me think about applying for this benefit, I didn't know what it was but found out from coughalot, as she used to work for the dwp.
Anyway its lodged now, and I can only wait, and let them know if things change !
Good luck with your application, its a pretty daunting thing to fill in isn't it ?
I am always saying sorry these days for doing late replies ,, but I have been out to my physiotherapist and then I've just had a Sunday roast on a Monday and I am feeling mellow !.
Well Hannah!, your in the wars aren't you ?.
But if I know your character , you will be fine in the long term.
As for me, I am now walking nearly unaided ! ,I move around the house without any help, but when I go out I use a stick for now.
I don't know what to say to you Hannah about your spinal problems except trust is a big thing with you surgeon .
I don't know what nerve root block is ?.
Is it a surgical procedure ?.
I wiil google it I think and then pm you if you don't mind ?.
And yes Hannah I am still painting, its helped me along in my own struggle with sanity !
Over The weekend on living with anxiety I have been posting a few of my pictures that I've done mainly in watercolour or pastel.
I've done a loose portrait of donafs new born and she's chuffed with it even if I think its not right !.
I got lots of positives from everyone, and even now its bringing a tear to my eyes !.
I will put a few on for you personally if you like as I know you love painting yourself .
Here goes then I will put some on.
Oh and I was asked to exhibit 5 ,
two weeks ago ,I did it and got some good comments ,and ive been asked to join the Friday art club, and as long as I can do it I will .
I sense that you are struggling but you keep a structure to your day/week to keep on going and I admire you for that. Be kind to yourself, you keep on persevering and should remind yourself of that. Sarah xx
Hi David
Well done you for getting a structure into your life! It does help but takes effort. Sorry, I don't know anything about the benefits side of things because I am lucky that my husband still earns well so money is a stress I do not have :).
Like you I had a weekly timetable, but lost it a few weeks ago, firstly when a chiropractor triggered my sciatic pain and then Pilates did the same thing again (BOTH recommended by medics...), and then I lost the routine again last week as we had someone asking to view our house - which actually is no longer on the market but we decided to go with it - and we ran round like headless chickens trying to get the place clean and looking good. This week I'm trying to get back the right frame of mind but having finally decided to replace my mobile with a Nokia smartphone I'm feeling stressed because it is too confusing for me to use - so now I'm having to return it in the post and go without a mobile for three days which always stresses me as I travel a lot on the motorway. I'll then have to order a different one. Grr.
Like you I find the school holidays change my routine - my two closest friends both go away for three weeks at this time of year and at the same time my husband is off work during the holidays and is like a bear with a sore head at times, and the worse for wine at others! Another Grrr. thing!
Isn't the weather gorgeous! I do envy you living by the sea, I wish I did. This morning I went into town (to the O2 shop to get them to open my phone in order to get the sim card out so I could post it back) and felt quite depressed as there is nothing worth bothering to go to in the town centre, just poundsavers, charity shops, coffee shops, and not much else - not quite true but it feels like that. If I had the sea to walk to I would go out every day!
I know what you mean about going to the gym - I was going three times a week for almost a month but once I lost the routine I find it really hard to motivate myself to go back though I know I have to and I do enjoy feeling good afterwards. I just walk on the treadmill - with inclines - as that prepares me for the Ramblers walks - another 7 miles this Sunday in Kirkby Stephen in the Lake District and if it's hot like today it will be exhausting so I need to improve my stamina and muscle power!
I like the analogy of being like an old car or motorbike - I'm like a wilting flowering shrub that once it's watered gets a new lease of life and blooms profusely until the next exhausting weather sets in and I collapse. While blooming I feel great, inbetween I feel like I am just existing and waiting.
Oh well, enough of that. It's lovely to hear from you and all the familiar people who have responded to your post.
Hi David, I know exactly how you feel. I am in a similar position. Thank you for your response to a post I wrote a few weeks ago, it was much appreaciated !
I feel absolutely exhausted, which is in part due to the high energy levels required to coach and play tennis and also the dehabilitating sapping and soporific effect of depression.
In truth I have been barely coping, and come very close most days to cancelling lessons, but my self-employed status means that I don't get paid if I dont show, and somehow I drag myself out of bed, and slowly start the day. I am not as productive as I would like to be and simply have to stop what i am doing on occassions to allow for a period of rest, which induceses stress so that I end up getting very backed up and end and doing a lot of work related tasks at the last minute and not to the required standard. To be quite frank, I am amazed as to how well I've coped, but at the back of my mind, is always that nagging thought that at some point i will just grind to a halt ! It may not be today or tommorow , but it will happen!
I play golf, I've never had a handicap or been a member of a club, but i play between 10 and 20 rounds a year at Sandburn Golf Club in North Yorkshire. Whereabouts do you play ? Does it help you to unwind and relax?
Thanks for reading this, I hope you are enjoying the sunshine and having a good day.
Nice to hear from you, I always enjoy chatting to you. Don't the DWP give you some kind of timescale? Or at least a latest date that they'll make a decision? It must be awful being in limbo, with your fate in someone else's hands. I know what you mean about changes of routine in the holidays causing a setback; it happens to me all the time.
Be nice to catch up a bit more while I'm off work, David.
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