Overwhelmed with Unhappiness

Hey Everyone,

I've been struggling with this unhappiness for a long time. I just don't know what to do anymore. And before anyone ask if its depression, or am I depressed? No. I have suffered from depression few years ago and I don't what depression feels like. But be assured this is not it. I'm just unhappy.. I cant seem to find happiness within myself. I've lost myself and I feel so different about myself.

3 months ago me and my now (fiancé) moved back into his parents home due to circumstances, and that has dragged me down soooo much. He is an amazing guy, loves me unconditionally. We've been together for quite sometime. After moving back 3 months ago he himself has changed. He seems unhappy aswell, our relationship is going downhill, he seems uneased. Lets just say, his mother isn't peachy. it's hell living there. And we are planning on moving out next year.

Life has changed and now there's so much stress in our lives. I'm a full time student, he's a full time worker. Right now for the summer I have a job, which I thought would help me in my unhappiness to my surprise... NO. i'm at work, away from stress, and I still feel unhappy. why.......

on top with all this im dealing with Nausea every single day. I'm going insane. I tried everything on getting my mind off of things and trying to be more happier but....I can't

10 Replies

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  • Hi, at first I felt at a bit of a loss to know why you have posted on here as you say you are unhappy but not depressed but have decided to reply as there could be some underlying issues as reading your post through you describe feeling "overwhelmed" and that is has been going on for a long time.

    Maybe it is just the situation with his parents; if this is the case then you need to understand this is a short term thing and will ease when you are able to move.

    The only other thing I can think of is is there any possibility you can be pregnant as you say you're suffering from nausea every day as this is not normal for a young person who is just unhappy.

    Not sure what else to say except that I hope this was helpful and gives you some possible explanations/help with the issue.

    Gemma :)

  • Hey Gemma,

    Thanks for the reply. I went to the doctors yesterday, not pregnant! and nothings wrong with me........ yeeeee

  • Poor you really, I'd hate to live with my BFs parents what a nightmare!

    Unhappy out of sorts, well I think its because you know what makes you happy and now you feel you're stuck can't get there. Well if you don't mind me saying its going to take effort.

    First off well done for college, well done for the job, one thing is you're working hard you may just be exhausted, I bet you're not sleeping well?

    I'm going to guess money is tight, but that shouldn't stop you and the man going away for a weekend even if its just camping or to some dingy B&B at least you will have some alone time.

    Try if you can to get some alone time, away from the house, maybe have a picnic for dinner or have a little alone time straight after work agree an hour a day just walking or sitting in the park together.

    You must have so much noise going on around you not least in your head!

    I think you are so brave, really I applaud you for doing so well in what can only be extremely hard situations.

    Could you focus on the future, plan some dates, things you're definitely going to do, fun things, so even though your not moving out right this minute you work towards that. Maybe keep a note book of what you will need when you move, new cutlery, plates, duvet covers, look around and think when you move and you have the money, what do you want in your house / flat.

    Use this time for yourself, things will change you know that, but Id like you to really feel it, really know you're okay and your future is rosey. You've managed to find your love, plan for your future, your smart enough to go to college and hold a job down. Be proud of yourself, remember who you are and why he loves you.

    I wish I could give you a hug, keep trying and if you feel ill well maybe a trip to the docs? Check you haven't caught a bug.

    You have a great future a head of you, hang in there and try and find the good in your life right now and if you get down, be kind to yourself, most people would drown having to cope with your situation right now.

    If it was me, well his parents might not last too long....lol..... No Caroline mustn't poison the parents!!! ....just kidding.

    Well done really, I am impressed with your abilities.

    XX

  • Check your inbox!

    xx

  • I did ...its full of sweets and chocolates you nawty girl! ...lol....Thank you! x

  • Poor you really, I'd hate to live with my BFs parents what a nightmare!

    Unhappy out of sorts, well I think its because you know what makes you happy and now you feel you're stuck can't get there. Well if you don't mind me saying its going to take effort.

    First off well done for college, well done for the job, one thing is you're working hard you may just be exhausted, I bet you're not sleeping well?

    I'm going to guess money is tight, but that shouldn't stop you and the man going away for a weekend even if its just camping or to some dingy B&B at least you will have some alone time.

    Try if you can to get some alone time, away from the house, maybe have a picnic for dinner or have a little alone time straight after work agree an hour a day just walking or sitting in the park together.

    You must have so much noise going on around you not least in your head!

    I think you are so brave, really I applaud you for doing so well in what can only be extremely hard situations.

    Could you focus on the future, plan some dates, things you're definitely going to do, fun things, so even though your not moving out right this minute you work towards that. Maybe keep a note book of what you will need when you move, new cutlery, plates, duvet covers, look around and think when you move and you have the money, what do you want in your house / flat.

    Use this time for yourself, things will change you know that, but Id like you to really feel it, really know you're okay and your future is rosey. You've managed to find your love, plan for your future, your smart enough to go to college and hold a job down. Be proud of yourself, remember who you are and why he loves you.

    I wish I could give you a hug, keep trying and if you feel ill well maybe a trip to the docs? Check you haven't caught a bug.

    You have a great future a head of you, hang in there and try and find the good in your life right now and if you get down, be kind to yourself, most people would drown having to cope with your situation right now.

    If it was me, well his parents might not last too long....lol..... No Caroline mustn't poison the parents!!! ....just kidding.

    Well done really, I am impressed with your abilities.

    XX

  • What you're experiencing sounds like underlying depression. Working towards moving into your on place with this guy is a good goal and something to keep optimistic about. As long as you love the guy and want to fight for the good relationship

  • thanks Lespaul

  • Hi Scorpio

    I'm going to try & give you a little insight into your bf's (possible) mind set. Now obviously I have no idea what his mind set is but I do know what mine would be like in this situation...

    He feels like he has failed you & he is ashamed & embarrassed. That's it in a nutshell. You said you're a full time student & he works full time. That means he is the bread winner but he didn't earn enough for you two to keep the place you used to be living & now you've had to move in with his parents. It's bad enough if we men have to move back in with parents or other family because it's almost a childish type thing because it looks like we couldn't cope or do things & we had to go home to mum for help. His ego & pride will have taken a bit of a beating & as it happened in front of you it kinda has made it feel like a bigger defeat, because he doesn't want you to see him as a loser as your view of him will be the most important.

    Anyway I could be waaaay off (what is it with me & extraaa looong vowels today?) but this is how I would feel I reckon. In fact, as I think of it, would a woman also feel like this?

    James

  • Hey James,

    Thanks for the reply. I kinda see what your saying, and come to think of it...you may be right. Maybe I wasn't seeing the big picture on how he probably feels. Hm... I will definitely think about this.

    Thanks A lot

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