I'm having a terrible time

I can't cope anymore , I want to die so much , don't get out of the house anymore, I'm loosing all my hair , I'm a lupus suffer , but they said the hair is stress , they told me I'm balding like men do, I rather die that be bald , if someone told me you won't wake up in the morning , I would be the happiest woman in the world.

[Stilltrying_]

Oh dear, you are having terrible time; I really do feel for you. I have a friend with lupus and it is a terrible disease to have. Did you know there are several lupus forum's on healthunlocked; don't know if you are a member but it may be worth joining to link up with other people in the same situation as yourself.

I know losing your hair is a terrible thing to go through; my friend has lost all of hers; but she does enjoy wearing a selection of wigs and swops them depending on her mood; they all have names and she almost takes on different persona when she is wearing them; so out of something really bad she has made something that is ultimately quite fun at times; though I know underneath she is sad and struggles badly with her illness.

I don't know any details but I think there may be some financial help towards buying wigs in these circumstances; I think my friend had help with it from the hospital.

I wonder are you getting all the support you are entitled to? It may be worth talking to your GP or consultant and telling them how bad and depressed you feel and maybe try and get a carer in to help you as my friend has one and she has all sorts of adaptations so she can manage as best she can by herself as well. I'm sorry I don't have more specific information on this but I would members on the lupus forums will know a lot more about it than me.

Pain and illness are very hard to deal with I know and can make us feel isolated lonely and desperate. I am glad you were able to reach out and ask for some help on here and I send you warm hugs.

Gemmalouise X

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Hi I can't add anything to what Gemma has said - some very good advice there. Stay with us and we will do our best to try and help you through it. I am sorry you are feeling so bad. x

[Gambit62]

This may be totally off beam but thought I would mention it

Have you had your B12 levels checked? B12 Deficiency can lead to hair loss ... amongst other things. It can also cause low mood, tiredness and lead to withdrawing from the company of others

pernicious-anaemia-society....

It might also be worth looking at this site - it is American - Centre for Disease Control - but, whilst aimed at medics, seems to be quite easy. It is aimed at getting US medics to take B12D seriously. Would be nice if NICE had something similar for the UK (excuse the puns).

In terms of the feelings of despair these are, as you will probably have guessed, quite common in depression/stress, though I think they are more to do with the brain having a really inappropriate mechanism for telling you that you are stressed, than to do with actually wanting to be dead. The part of the brain that deals with fear is very primitive and goes back to the days when everything was fight or flight so it sends you messages of the danger your stress could lead to but in the case of stress that just causes more anxiety which means that you get into a rather unpleasant anxiety loop. Just say that in case you are finding the thoughts themselves distressing.

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Thank you x