Counselling has ended.

[formidible]

Feeling a bit down as I ended my counselling yesterday as I didn't feel I was getting any further though up til then it had been of some benefit. Not sure I trusted the counsellor fully either as he was a lot younger than me. I am now wondering if I've done the right thing. The issues with my family are still there but I am managing the feelings as usual. Not sure what to do - whether to leave things for a while or to book more counselling which means another longish wait. Fortunately I have stopped all medication this summer and feel good about that. Generally I am a different person than I was a year ago, but I'm surprised that I can still feel vulnerable, rejected and susceptible to down turns.

[Stilltrying_]

Hi and well done for kicking the meds; it is not easy. I remember you were on zopiclone and trying to cut down? If you've managed to come off that is fab. I am still struggling with that. I did cut down to about a half but ended up not sleeping at all; then I got some herbal tablets but ended up taking several to try and sleep but they did not help. Now i'm back on one 7.5 mg zopiclone. So if you've come off that then give yourself a bit pat on the back !!!

Regarding counselling was it CBT? It doesn't work for everyone and yes of course it will depend to a certain extent on the skill of the practioner. Was it on NHS? I guess so from what you wrote in which case you may be wondering if you have done the right thing by ending it if it was the only option available; but I would trust your feelings about this; I think if it was really doing you a lot of good you would not have had the feeling you wanted to end it. I know that CAN happen sometimes in counselling when things are getting difficult but it sounds like a different reason with you; that it just wasn't working well enough.

There is still plenty of stuff online you could look at on getselfhelp.org.uk. if you want to follow up on stuff yourself.

I would consider putting yourself down for further counselling though also to be honest you are bound to feel a loss when something that was there before is no longer there so maybe wait and see if you really need it or whether it's just a temporary feeling of loss of that thing that was in your week before if that makes any sense?

We can all feel vulnerable rejected and subject to downturns if we have depressive tendencies (and maybe even if not though i wouldn't know as I think i have depressive/anxious tendencies). It may be a self esteem thing. I know I tend to question myself constantly if anything "bad " happens to me; for example if anyone in any situation suggests I may have a negative quality I constantly question myself as to whether i have that quality and ask around friends as to whether or not I have that quality but cannot convince myself very well as I think they would not tell me anyway if I did; so I can spend days being like this; don't know if this is "normal" but I expect some others may be able to shrug if off a bit better.

So what I would say to you is that on the whole as you say you are doing very well and have made great progress. To feel a little uncertain at times or even to go a little backwards is to a certain extent "normal" I would say with our kinds of difficulties. The main thing is to focus on the fact of how far you have managed to come overall.

Let things settle a little and then see how you feel.

Gemmalouise XX