I am 28, and have been going through what I think is depression and bouts with OCD for the entirety of my 20's. I have no social life, no career (although I do have a job), and no partner. In fact, I've never had a girlfriend, or been able to talk to women of my age.
In some ways, I've always felt mentally handicapped - or as if people treat me that way. My parents (who I still live with, at age 28), still treat me like a child in some respects. Sometimes I don't feel like an adult. I don't fit in.
I see couples everywhere, and I wonder what it's all about. Some younger than me even have children of their own. I don't understand why I've remained alone all my life, or why women my age don't seem receptive to me. My interactions with the opposite sex have been very basic, insubstantial and insignificant - no friendly banter, laughing or touching, or anything of the sort.
I am very unsatisfied and bored with life, and I am starting to wonder if there's much point in carrying on. I am getting older, and with it, feeling more and more inadequate. I've been thinking of suicide for a long time, because I see it as a way to escape this life I am living. But what about my family? They will be hurt - perhaps feel betrayed and disappointed in me. Sometimes I distract myself with plans of making a career for myself, but really, I am not in a great position to do that with these thoughts swirling around in my head. I just don't know if there's a way forwards.
Could I write a letter to my family? Would that help, if I were gone? Please don't think I am about to commit suicide, because I am not. It's something that will be carefully considered over the next couple of years. It sounds so ridiculous, doesn't it?