Just want clarity

So im unhappy. I shouldnt be. I just bought a house on my own single mom with a boyfriend who has stepped up to the plate. I have two amazing healthy boys. A good job great family now that my divorce is gone and im finally ober all the pain it caused.....so why am I still so sad:/ I feel helpless at time. I feel like im a huge discustiing human who is undeserving. Although those around be tell me how beautiful I am....how proud they are for what ive overcome. I seek that attention in hopes that one day ill believe them. I used to work out...I now cannot find the strength. Im always tired and feel indont play w my kids enough. Im always running around errands cleaning go go go. I feel like a shit mom shit girlfriend just a shit individual. How do I make this go away especially when everything is in my favor? I feel all alone. Lost....f rusterated and just want help

6 Replies

  • I recognise your situation as I was in a similar position 11 years ok. First of all start to acknowledge what you achieve instead of what you can't do. I used to lie in bed at night and think.1 we have a roof over our heads.2 the kids are fed. 3 the kids feel loved and safe. Job done. Then slowly you add in extra things like going for a walk, baking a cake, doing some spring cleaning.it is hard doing everything on your own and never under estimate what you are going through. Good luck and in time things will feel easier as you adapt. You have been through some very big changes and it takes time to settle. Be kind to yourself and add in a little'me' time each week even if it is 30 minutes.x

  • Be kind to yourself. You need time to recover. Your brain has suffered a virtual trauma and is in overload. Drop the chores, take a mental holiday, try Multi b Vits, starflower oil capsules, and St. John's Wort (only if you are not on antidepressants or epileptic). Have time for yourself before it turns into a full blown breakdown.

  • Hi there

    I think after all you've been through this is a normal reaction!! Sometimes I think, well this is how I am, when things are all so bad, we go into auto-pilot to get through it, then when things settle down, it hits us!!

    You've been through a tough time and coped, it has knocked your confidence regardless of how good things are now.... so as the others have said, make time in your busy schedule for YOU, to feed your soul and feel good again!!

    If things go on maybe a trip to your gp would help?

    Sending love and hugs, you have done amazing so well done xx

  • I went through it for 17 yrs my ex husband treated me so badly that it effected me in many ways low self esteem, low self worth, lack of confidence just to names few. He even told me I wouldn't find anyone else. He was a miserable drunk!! I meet my husband as of 10 years and 6 oarriage I felt the same way you do now. Let yourself let him in totally sharing responsibilities, single moms have trouble with this somtimes. Learn to love yourself all over again,and be kind to self. Allow yourself time to heal we didn't get that way overnight, and it will take time to heal. Put yourself in balance time with kids,husband and you time dishes ,and cleaning are still going to be there trust me it won't hurt to put it off for a couple hrs of family time. I cleaned when I was upset all those yrs. thinking that's all I was good for that was a big fat lie. Try doing 1 good thing for yourself daily even if it's just a bubble bath,walk,listening to music you know what you like god bless you and your life.

  • Hi how can your kids be amazing unless they had a great mum? Why does your boyfriend love you if you are so worthless? It sounds like you have depression. When you are depressed you only concentrate on the negative and don't see the positives. Have you been to your doctors? Meds and/or counselling should help you feel better about yourself. Negative thinking is a hallmark of depression. x

  • Hi

    Sounds like the stress of splitting up/divorce etc has caught up with you and all the negative stuff has taken over.

    Depression is a horrid thing if left unchecked. So take a little step back, take a deep breath - your kids are OK / your boyfriends cool, you have a home of your own - three massive positives.

    Now you need a little YOU time, prehaps a night out with your girlfriends for a good old gossip and laugh. The sun is out go for a walk or a jog - exercise always lifts the mood.

    If you still feel bad - go to the docs and get some counselling or meds to help you through this low point rather than let it overtake you.

    But most of all talk to you partner/mum/friends which ever suits you best, it never seems as bad once said out loud.

    Be strong you are loved and you can get over this


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