Just wanted to check in with everyone and see how we all are. I cant believe its the end of another week. Since stopping work I have felt a bit confused where life is going. After all I didn't choose to give up when I did. However, I am enjoying the sun and having a break from work. I definitely don't feel as stressed but still have days or part days when I'm really low, like now. I am trying to keep busy and active. I go to the gym, cycling and walking. I have got involved in helping a friend who works at a community center to provide various groups, run by other agencies. I have just been putting flat pack desks together this week, but it gives me purpose and I'm meeting other people.
I had a card and some money from the staff at the school I used to work at, which was nice. It seems like I have left completely so I wont worry about going in to do any voluntary work there. My email account for school has even been suspended. I didn't like the way I left the school anyway.
I can see the way forward a bit clearer now, especially after writing this. However, I still feel as though I have lost purpose and self worth. Earning money has some purpose even if not a large amount. I am receiving a small amount of E.S.A and applying for PIP but its not the same as being paid for working.
I'm sure I will get used to this way of life. I'm trying to rest during the day too. Had coffee in the garden on my own three days this week!
Hope everyone is alright. Sorry this may seem uninteresting to some but I just wanted to say that living with depression is manageable even if it is hard work.
Thanks for everyone's support.