Sorry but I just need to vent. Had a really bad meeting with GP this morning and getting to the point where I'm going to give up on the NHS. Walked out and apologised for wasting his time and thought to myself 'and I'm really sorry that you have wasted my time'. Wanted to talk about the B12 deficiency as I'm sure that is what has been making me struggle so much with moving over the last few years and particularly this year. Its very different from the depression - as hit me after my shot in February - when I thought I was okay but I when I went out for my run (more of a quicktime shuffle before the shot) but I could actually run and move limbs this time but all I wanted to do was cry and curl up in a little ball because how stressed I was about work had just hit me.
This morning he only wanted to talk about depression - when actually it was his refusual to talk about B12 that had left me feeling totally hopeless at that point - kept suggesting anti-depressants which I flatly refused - never found them particularly helpful in lifting the mood - just stop me caring about everything so stop caring about the fact that I'm miserable and just existing. I have found meditation quite useful in helping me to find little moments which I can think back on and may be feel that there might be something to balance out the pain. The other thing though is that there is evidence that SSRI's can interfere with B9 levels and as a result just make any B12 related depression worse though I didn't actually say that. Don't think he would have listened.
I just really get the impression that he does not have a clue when it comes to what B12 deficiency is - classic answer today 'can't be the B12 because you are getting shots' ... he was trying to be helpful - kept offering to do a B12 test on my bloods and I kept explaining to him that the NHS test wasn't going to be any help because it looks at total B12 rather than focusing on the levels of active form of B12 (one of the most complex vitamins as far as I can work out and not particularly well understood in terms of how it actually does what it does in terms of cell reproduction) but he just didn't get it. Scary that there are so many doctors like that out there. Just wish I had a GP with a bit of nous who would listen to me. I wish I had someone I could talk to about this bloody condition and help me fight against the system.
There are a couple of on-line petitions on B12 at the moment trying to raise the issue of how the condition is misunderstood by GPs and actually suffers can be treated extremely cruelly, just in case anyone feels like signing one.
And for the record I am a member of the PAS forum (Pernicious Anaemia Society) on health unlocked.