Tearful :((

[Binky1]

Feeling very disillusioned with life in general & tired of having to pretend that everything's fine when it's not

[Golfer15]

Hi Blinky

I know what you mean because I feel the same. Im so fed up with feeling this way and nobody seems to understand. Even I think at times Im making it up!

Ive just been for a blood test this afternoon. When I last saw my GP I told her how this depression has got hold of me and I cant do anything. Most of the time I am very tired and have no energy. She sent me for a blood test.

I cant explain how tired I feel, Im aching all over. I am working two hours a day and that tires me out. I have to pretend too when people at work ask me how I am. They know I have stress problems hence the part time work. Im stopping work altogether soon as my job is going due to cutbacks, or that is what I have been told. I think it is because I have mental health problems but I am trying not to think of that. I cant cope with work anyway. It gets me so anxious. I work afternoons normally, although this week has been mornings, in a primary school.

Dont know what the future holds.

David

[Binky1 in reply to Golfer15]

Hi David,

sorry to hear that you're feeling like this, it's awful and we look fine on the outside so therefore it seems like we're just 'moaning' or a bit off

They don't realise it's an everyday feeling with slight ups and huge downs.

I too worked in a primary and a high school as classroom assistant SEN which had its challenges for sure, during that time my daughter was being treated for thyroid cancer so it was a complete hell

I am recently divorced and now a single parent out of work

I know how you feel with the blood tests as I can't believe how exhausted I feel so worry that's there must be something physical wrong which makes the anxiety much worse

I try to keep upbeat but today with one small rejection happening I have fallen apart

So here goes to building it all back up again and I'm so tired of it. It's great we can let off steam here and not be judged. Maybe your job ending will be a blessing of sorts if it's hard going for you just now. We can only live in hope

Lesley x

[Golfer15 in reply to Binky1]

Thanks for the reply Lesley. This is a good place to share our thoughts as we understand each other. I have been working as a TA but dont really like the work. I love kids and enjoy other things like scouting which Im involved in.

You are right that Im looking at my job ending as a blessing so I can try to sort myself out and have a new start.

David x

[Binky1 in reply to Golfer15]

I am job hunting at the moment but to be honest I think if I get a job it will either kill or cure me

I'm so tired and don't know if it's boredom with having nothing to get up for each day or if I had a job would that be a good thing to motivate me or a huge pressure to function 'normally' every day

Only time will tell but it would be great to think I could manage to work

[Golfer15]

I get up in the morning at 7 with the family even though I dont go to work until 1pm. I think I will still get up at the same time even when I stop work.

Maybe you should do that and go out of the house by 10am. I go to the gym at 9.30am to motivate me. I find lack of motivation one of my biggest problems. Even with working part time.

We need a purpose in the day but a good purpose like going for a walk or meeting a friend.

X

[Binky1 in reply to Golfer15]

That's very disciplined of you and it's good to have routine and a purpose

I could go swimming with my friend who goes 4times a week but I get so lazy and tired so talk myself out of going and then I'm bored so it's a vicious circle

Maybe the better weather will help me to motivate myself but some days I prefer it when it's gloomy as it matches my mood and I don't feel so guilty about staying indoors

X

[Photogeek]

Hi Lesley

Sorry to hear your feeling sad and down today. At least by posting you will

Get a bit of support. Going through a divorce is hard and you will get days like

This, I went through this 30 yrs ago and I don't know how I survived it. But I did and

Here I am so you have my sympathy. It's important to have a structure and maybe try

And get out to swimming and make a bit of time for yourself . It might be no harm

To get a blood test from your GP as you might be a bit run Down too. Anyway

We are here for you so keep the spirits up.

Hugs

Hannah x

[Binky1 in reply to Photogeek]

Thankyou so much Hannah Hugs accepted

Just feeling really hurt and sad today but not about my divorce as it was a long time coming and I've been divorced almost a year now

I just feel really stuck with my life just now and a bit in limbo, I'm an onlooker to life at the moment

I function not bad ie showering and dressing and taking care of myself whereas I used to be a mess, I have a wonderful relationship with my son & 2 daughters and that means the world to me, I have my 15yr old who stays with me

Their father has lost out as he's 'moved on' with a girlfriend and doesn't see much of his kids but his loss

How are you today Hannah? Hugs back

Lesley xx

[Photogeek]

Ah Lesley I'm ok but broke as had to fork out for filling and X-ray at dentists. I

Wish we had NHS here as we have to pay for everything. I envy my sister who

Lives In Manchester. Lesley I think we can all get that passive, stuck, feeling at times

And I think you now have to be gentle with yourself and try and do something

Nice for yourself. It's great that you have your children. Please take care and be

Good to you.

Hugs

Hannah .

[Binky1 in reply to Photogeek]

Oooh Hannah I don't like the dentist but then who does

I am very aware that many people have life so much harder than I do and then I feel guilty and ungrateful

A lot of my problems stem from an abusive childhood and it never leaves you, just have to accept it and move on as best I can

I really appreciate your good wishes and thankyou for them

Lesley xx

[Stilltrying_]

Hello Lesley you sound like a lovely person and I love your avatar; am going to search for it myself on the internet in a bit. Sorry you're feeling disillusioned and down today. We get those days sometimes don't we but it's lovely you have your family and i would like to bet that when you're up you're a very sociable person, as you are anyway even when you're down!

I hope you pick up a bit soon. Sometimes we get stuck but then we get unstuck again, up and downs I guess.

Take care and nice to hear from you Lesley even though you are down. Gemmalouise X

[Binky1 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Thankyou Gemmouise that means a lot to me

Yes I am a chatty person haha but on bad days just feel very antisocial and very introverted

It's so good to share with you lovely people and not be judged, it's reassuring to me so thankyou

Lesley xx

[BigChatterBox]

Hello everyone,

I have suffered anxiety and depression since being 7 and now nearly 61. My husband and I retired one year ago and moved to the city where there are better facilities as we grow older. What I found was that with both of us not working, my husband was still getting up really early, 5.30 or 6am whereas I'd sleep till 9am. If I woke early I'd just lay there thinking and thinking until all my worries woke up and this made it hard for me to have a happy day. Well this last week my husband has been on jury duty and I have to get up early and drive him to the city. Well my anxiety hit an all time high because it meant driving in traffic and then spending the day by myself. I also found myself a part time job Mon - Fri 2-5pm and I'd be responsible for locking up the house; setting the alarms etc., and I thought I'd never be able to have the strength to do this and then drive to work. But I've found the opposite. The last two days have been a revelation. I now get up earlier, dress and have breakfast and make the bed. I've already achieved something and not yet left the house. I wash the dishes. Then we drive to the city and I come home and make a cup of tea, sit outside in the sun with my dog for half an hour. I do a few chores, watch a funny show on TV for half an hour and by then it's lunch. I sit outside again in the sun; bring the washing in and maybe do the ironing. Then I get ready for work and off I go feeling confident. My time at work is great and then I pick my husband up at 5.30pm; home and get dinner ready. A glass of wine is paramount. What I'm trying to say is that now I have to get up earlier and having the part time job, I need to be organised and even if I'm feeling anxious, I make myself do that chore. I get a sense of achievement and this makes me feel in control. So get up early and set yourself some chores each day and stagger them through the day. Don't do all the housework by 11am and then spend the rest of the day thinking. It's made such a difference to me I can't believe it.

Sorry this is so long but the whole change of my emotions took me totally by surprise and I'll always be grateful that Warren got jury duty.

Good luck and happy days to all.

Jude

[Binky1 in reply to BigChatterBox]

Hello Jude and good to meet you

That's great to hear that your busy routine has helped so much. I agree that being organised can be key to feeling productive and functioning well. I have days that I'm like superwoman and on top of everything but that takes it's toll and then I'm exhausted for days after it, by then all the chores have piled up again so it's hard work to get it all done again

I write lists when I'm wanting to get organised and write it all down even showering and eating breakfast

At the end of the day if I haven't achieved everything on the list at least I can look and see what I have done instead of feeling a failure over what I have not done

Keep up the good work and lucky you living in Australia

Best Wishes

Lesley x