I want to change my life but I am missing love

Hi

I do not want to complain about my life I would like to do something what will change my life but I am missing love, to feel to be loved. I feel lonely, I have been living in the UK for 8 years. But even in my country I have not have friends or love. I have my profiles on dating websites (which truly describes me) but no reply or something which does not make me feel OK.

Any suggestions?

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11 Replies

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  • Maybe what you're writing on the dating site is a little overpowering, and perhaps putting potential matches off? If you would be prepared to share what it says on your profile, perhaps we could help you make it more appealing?

  • HI Lucy34

    I cannot make myself more appealing or write less overpowering, I can be just myself. But a good point I could ask people how they feel about my profile.

  • I completely agree that you should only be yourself. Telling lies on a saying site is a sure fire way to put people off. What I mean is, your use of English might mean your word choices are perhaps a little ambiguous?

  • Lucy, I already asked somebody on a dating site to let me know about my profile. I thank you very much.

  • Hi there, I think if you say you are lonely or looking for love, it could put people off .

    Whereas if you say that you would be interested in a date and say what your interests

    Are, People would be more likely to want to meet you. Some people would be a bit put off if you say you are lonely, as they too might

    Have their problems too and they don't want someone too needy.

    Dating sites are unfortunately where you sell yourself so you need to be light and

    Interested In others, rather than saying you are lonely . I'm not sure where your

    From but different cultures have different ways of looking for love.

    Good luck anyway.

    Hannah

  • Hi Hannah

    I think something is true about and it is difficult, because I feel lonely but I am not just "lonely" and I need to be loved as I am.

    I am from East Europe with same ways of looking for love.

  • Hi and welcome to the site. Are you suffering from depression? have you seen your doctor? Are you on any meds? It would help to have more information.

  • I feel for you. It's not easy is in the first place without the complexities of internet dating. I would like to be in a relationship and have been in significant long-term relationships in the past, but depression has somehow got in the way. I am working on self- fulfillment, only then do I think that can I offer something to another. I hope you find what your looking for. Damian

  • Hi

    I am sorry you are feeling so lonely in the UK - 8 years is a long time to be feeling lonely - but you say you did not have friends in your own country which suggests loneliness is something you have experienced for a much longer time.

    You do not say why you came to the UK or why you left your own country, whether you wanted to or felt you had to leave, but whatever the reason you are living here now and need to find a way to be helped to find out why you have been lonely for so long.

    When we are lonely as adults it is usually because we lack the skills to know how to make friends, and if we are unable to make friends then we will certainly be unable to form relationships in which we are loved by other people and love them in return. When we are small we are hopefully given love which enables us to learn how to then give out love to other people, but if our own needs for love were not met well then that can leave us still needing that kind of dependant love whilst at the same time being unable to give love to other people.

    Rather than seeking someone to love and be loved by it may help you to think in terms of meeting people you get on with and simply forming relationships with them - by that I mean being friendly and slowly getting to know them over time. It is difficult to do that while you are feeling so needy of love yourself.

    I do not know your circumstances, but you might think of seeing whether your GP will refer you to someone you can talk to, a counsellor, so you can talk through what makes you feel so isolated.

    Suexx

  • I thank you for all replies and I really appreciate the one from Hannah. I replied already to her but I thought after about it. Because she made a point which I recognized is my problem, we all need to be loved and love. But I so needy of love that I do not have any relationship. I know sometimes from other site that I can not breath with somebody how much he is demanding his/her love.

    Yes it is about to be with people and do not to be a stone on them. And maybe if I am in the other country and I give up to have friends because of my figure or my pocket, it is time to learn it.

    But I really thank you all who wrote me. I appreciate it.

    Thanks, Damian for sharing

    Thanks, Sue thanks for your long post

    Thanks, Cougaloth for welcome

    Lucy, thanks for your offer to help with my advert.

    Folks, I would like to close my post.

  • HEY PETOLDO,I will be your friend ok,i am lonely my brother lives away,my sisters,i am here myself to.Listen give me a call for a chat ok,dont get down,try and stay upbeat ok,take it easy

    [Edited by Will (ThemysciraDrive), 24-4-14]

    Hi mittsies - I thought I ought to take your phone number off the post, as this is a public post so anyone anywhere could see it and use it. Probably not the best idea! I'm sure petoldo appreciated the gesture though :)

    If you want to chat to people on here you can send them a private message - probably best way to start talking to people.

    Will

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