Good morning, weather is cold and raining and I'm feeling very down. Already had a good cry and can't get myself going!!!!!

Today, I have to sign on at the job centre as my ESA reconsideration is still ongoing. My stomach is in spasm and I'm feeling physically sick. I've seen 5 different people since January and the last 3 have been really nasty to me and don't help. On my file, I have told them that I have a fear of strangers.

The 1st 3times were OK and I went with my daughter then the 4th times my daughter stayed outside as I felt OK with my coach, surprise surprise it was a different person who sanction my JSA and I had a meltdown in the job centre. I had a major panic attack and couldn't breathe, my Emphysema was bad as it was because it was raining. So I was a mess. My daughter is going to try and be there today but can't promise so somehow I've got to go my myself, I am s**tting it. Any suggestions on how to cope!!!!!!

11 Replies

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  • Maisiemoo this is very difficult for you. All you can really do is try and keep breathing. Do make sure your daughter goes with you as you need the support. Do make sure you go no matter how ill you are or they will sanction your further. The thought of having another panic attack must be playing on your mind but it may not happen this time. If you are feeling sick or feel about to be sick indicate this, take something with you to be sick into and then ask them where the toilet is.

    As we've said before although its a ridiculous system do not confront or get angry. Merely explain how ill you are and how you find everything very difficult indeed. Explain about the assessment you had and do not expect them to think in joined up writing. They often get facts wrong or don't know what is going on with you so you have to repeat yourself several times or make them aware of things they should already be aware of. Remind them of all your health conditions and if offered jobs discuss with them how having your health conditions will impact on that job they have suggested.

    I know it is hard to contain yourself because some of these staff can get hardened I think and treat everyone claiming like a criminal or a fraud, but don't rise to getting angry at them . Cry if you need to but don't raise your voice or challenge if you can possibly help it. Just keep it all in and rant on here later if you need to. That is all I can think of . Best of luck. Let us know how you get on.

    . Gemma X

  • Oh maisie .

    Im so sorry your feeling so down today .

    But if it helps im feeling the same symptums too ?

    And im only going to an adult education coarse .

    But the best of luck , anyway with your assessment , and I hope your daughter can make it with you.

    I cant honestly see they can refuse you help , with your emphasema .

    Pete x

  • Hi Maisie try to keep your spirits . Just take each thing bit by bit, and keep calm?

    By deep breaths. It might not be as bad as you think , when you get home,

    Make a nice cuppa and sit down and relax.

    Hugs

    Hannah

  • Sorry you are finding it hard and I hope it went well for you today. Suex

  • Hi, I'm back. Had another meltdown at the job centre. They wanted me to see the same nasty man that cause one of my previous meltdown, I started shaking and going all fun. My breathing started to get heavy and I could feel myself falling, thank goodness my daughter had arrived and calmed me down. She got me breathing slowly.

    Cut story short, I saw my original coach from the job centre and everything went fine. He sent a copy of my hospital app. And my mental health results off to the decision maker then next week I get my letter off my doc and send that off as well.

    I don't understand why I keep having meltdowns??? Is it because of my fear of strangers?????

    When I got home ,the first thing I did was have a cup of tea and something to eat, as I hadn't eaten properly for a couple of days. :-) :-)

  • Hi

    You are having panic attacks and they occur when something is making you extremely anxious. My guess from what you have written is that you fear you will not be understood correctly and taken seriously, you are frightened that more will be expected of you than you can manage. I think that probably the reason why you are having the attacks in relation to the expectation that you should work is that it reminds you in some way of a very scary time in your past, perhaps before you can consciously remember. However, whatever their cause the important thing is knowing how to manage them. Firstly you say you hadn't eaten properly for a couple of days and that would make anyone feel lightheaded and stressed, so that when you were faced with the additional stress at the job centre you became hyper-anxious because your body couldn't cope any more, it was all too much. If you are unable to eat breakfast then maybe you could have a couple of oatcakes as oats take a long time to digest and give us energy for a long time, or you could have a banana and drink which would be better than nothing. Eating properly will prevent your body from being unable to cope. The second thing you can do is know how to cope if you do have an attack. The important thing is to concentrate on your breathing, to take very long slow deep breaths until you can feel your anxiety reduce. I know it feels impossible when things are stressing you, but being able to control the stress will make you feel more empowered and you will be better able to put your case across.

    It is great that everything went fine in the end at the job centre! All that anxiety was for nothing. It all sounds very positive. Keep us updated, won't you and I hope it all goes well for you.

    Suexx

  • Hi Maisiemoo sounds like it started out really badly but ended up fine. Thanks for getting back to us as I had been wondering how you'd got on. Well that's over for now anyway and hopefully there will not be too many more of them although I know they still have to make that decision over your ESA and it could could go either way but lets keep our fingers crossed for you that its a positive result for you.

    About your meltdowns, because you had a bad experience you are worried you will have another which is perfectly understandable if you think about it and that man sounds horrible. But luckily it worked out ok in the end. Pleased for you Maisie; you can now relax a little ; glad you had a nice cuppa and something to eat. X

  • Glad your ok, but not eating would not be helping you either. You will have

    To make more effort at self care, diet, otherwise you will make yourself

    Worse.

    Hopefully it will get sorted out, but In Ireland , they are very tough if you are

    Saying you cannot work, hope the English system is better.

    Hannah x

  • Hi masie.

    I cant really see that there will be a problem with your payments !

    They surely have to take in the fact you have a really debilitating breathing problem ?.

    If you don't mind me asking a personal question masie ( how bad is the breathing ) ?

    Has it got to the point were you need a nebuliser ?.

    I remember my mother , using a nebuliser , then eventually oxygen.

    Can you actually do the breathing exercises that the well meaning people on the forum have advised ?.

    What I would say maisie is that you must eat properly .

    You must keep up your strenghth that way.

    And good luck .

    regards

    pete .

  • Hi Pete, I only got diagnosed with Emphysema, middle of last year and also my left lung doesn't work properly as it is scarred from the pneumonia I had in 2011. I'm not on any meds at mo but my breathing and breathlessness have got worse so I'm waiting for app to see my specialist.

    My double scoliosis has really been bad that I struggle in the mornings to get out of bed, my doc did my height and I have lost 4in in height so I'm waiting for another xray on my back to see how bad my back is. So with what is happening with the ESA, I have been on a proper downer.

    I have suffered from depression for years, abusive parents and ex husband etc, then I was a cyclist and had a couple of major accidents, that is when my health started suffered and the rest is history.

    How are you keeping? Hope you are well, take care :-) :-)

  • Hi maisie.

    I certainly know what you mean about ,things going down hill since you've had your accidents

    Im doing ok !, for now, but you do notice a difference , in the old body parts don't you ?.

    Im coming around a bit now !.

    For me its the amount of time being off work that is killing me!.

    It will have been 5 months at the end of this month ive been disabled.

    And next month I go in for the operation to get all the flippin titanium out of my right foot.

    The docs reckon if someone ran over me now, and flattened me ,, I would be worth more in scrap, than life insurance LOL !!!!.

    But joking aside ,its because im self employed that I only get ESA !.

    That's all I get from this generous government of ours !!

    And I thouroughly sympathise with the way you were feeling about your entitelments.

    Ok! I will eventually be compensated by the other drivers insurance,, but that can take up to six years to fight out !.

    If I am to be off work for lets say another 4 months ,,,I too will be in the position were im going to have to talk to the job centre about jsa +esa.

    Like yourself I am absolutely ((( bricking it !))) at the thought of going in and having to more or less beg and lay my cards out on the table to the old job centre mafia !!.

    Its wrong that someone like myself who has worked for forty years ,always paid his dews

    has to do that !!

    I hope maisie that you will be ok !!.

    It really upset me reading your post ,and I hope everything goes fine for you if not its a sin !.

    Oh my god !!

    WHAT A RANT!!.

    But this is how I and thousands of other people feel about the benefits system at this point in time !.

    There was a tv documentary on last week that showed the truth of were our taxes are going

    to the flippin roma gypsies of Romania , who come over here to exploit the system.

    Its not like me to be bigoted , but that one got my goat !.

    I had better go now before I bust a blood vessel !.

    Not like me to go on like this but it makes me feel better !!!

    GOOD LUCK TO YA MAISIE !!

    And keep well !

    pete x

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