What is this shaking, sicky feeling im getting ?

So my friend just tried to commit suicide and ever since i found out ive had this shaking feeling in my like torso ? i dont get it in may legs or arms but i get headaches, my friend say it could be stress or anxiety is this so ? also if you dont mind id like to ask how do i react to my friend doing this, ive known him for a long time and im confused about why he would do this with out any warning? i mean i understand there were signs but how do i cope ? when i heard i cried for hours on end giving me intense headache. ANY HELP WILL BE GREATLY Appreciated - sorry for poor punctuation.

10 Replies

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  • No one here can tell you how you should react to your friend's suicide attempt. People respond to situations in so many different ways. The best thing you can do for your friend is offer your support, help him to explore the different options available to him, and keep an eye on your own needs and wellbeing, too.

  • Lucy has given a sound reply. I do think you have to take care of yourself

    And encourage your friend to get help too.

    Hannah

  • I agree 100% with Lucy and Hannah. it is a very difficult situation for you. I wish you luck x

  • thanyou! any idea on if this is anxiety or not ?

  • It could be any number of things, but you've definitely had a massive shock and it could well be your body's reaction to what has happened. I'm sure it'll settle in time, but if you're worried, pop and see your GP.

  • Hi

    I am sorry you are feeling so shaky, but death can trigger anxiety and when the death is the result of suicide then the anxiety can be greater. Suicide is a very angry gesture - although it can be the result of desperation it is also very often an expression of the ultimate anger - a way of seeing see what you have made me do, now you will feel really bad, as bad as I felt. I do not mean that harshly, your friend is not intentionally hurting you and other people who know him but it is his unconscious way of getting somehow to know how desperate he is feeling whilst at the same time punishing them for not making him better. And of course you cannot make him better.

    It sounds as though you are finding it difficult to cope with your responses to his attempt. I wonder how you would have felt if he had succeeded, whether your feelings would have been more intense. Your feelings of distress and stress may be due to the idea of losing him but they may also be about the idea of anyone feeling desperate enough to want to take their own life. What that idea means to you will depend upon your own history and only you know what that is, it depends whether you were a happy person before you heard about his attempt or whether you had a tendency yourself to be depressed. Sometimes the extreme feelings of someone else can put us in touch with our own feelings, so it may be that your friend's attempt has put you in touch with some desperation within yourself, or it may be that it acted as a reminder of some loss you experienced in the perhaps very distant past that you are unable to recall except by emotions. Without knowing more about your previous circumstances it is impossible to say. It also depends upon what the friend means to you, what he represents for you, whether he is just a good friend, your only friend, a father figure, etc. His meaning will determine what the idea of him in particular being so unhappy as to want to take his own life.

    It is important that you separate yourself out from his desperation. He is alive and you might talk with him to see whether he feels a need to talk with you, but if he does not then you may have to tolerate the fact that some people reach a point in their lives where they no longer want to live. That may have been a temporary phase for your friend but it may be part of an ongoing quite private fight with life that he has been having for some time and he may attempt to take his life again - and you may have to tolerate that.

    If you continue to be really distressed by his attempt and wish to understand why you could ask your GP to refer you to talk with someone in order to come to terms with the feelings.

    Suexx

  • I had the same thing happen to me when my grandmother died, could that be the link ? and thanyou this was very detailed and has helped me a lot

  • Yes, definitely, if you had similar when your grandmother died the recent events will have repeated that and brought back feelings, some you may not even remember from the time when you may have been too young to process them alone. That is always traumatic and understanding where the feelings come from should help ease them in time. Suexx

  • thankyou xx !!

  • I would say a lot of you symptums come down to shock !.

    But otherwise I agree with lucy.

    Wait a while , see if the feelings calm down, before you go see your friend.

    Then give him the biggest hug .

    regards

    pete x

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