I don't want to live more

[BlueSL]

I don't have any reason to live. I live on my own, far away from my country, with no family, I don't have friends neither. My life is working, home and that's all I do. I came to this country with my ex, but we split up because both wanted to continue different ways. That happens two years ago and but now he is already happily married and me ... I am all lonely.

I tried to get new direction in my career. I have tried to look for new jobs, new areas where I can work with not luck at all. I have applied for relocation in my company, but because I am good employer, they don't wAnt me to relocate. I feel stuck in my life and everything I try to do it's so difficult and always with problems. Nobody want me, nobody love me, nobody is interested in my company so why I should continue living.... It's not worth it anymore and I don't have the energy to continue fighting. I don't wAnt to go therapy and no doctors neither, I just want to give up.

[Hidden]

Hi Blue I am sorry you feel so down. Is it possible to go back home to your own country? Is it possible to try and make some friends where you are? Do you think you are suffering from depression? I don't really know what else to say. You say you don't want doctors or therapy but I do think they would help you. It does sound like depression. The trouble with depression is that everything seems hopeless with no way out. At the end of the day though only you can tackle it. The fact that you posted here is a positive step and I think you do want help. I am sure others will be in shortly. I am at a loss what else to say. Take care. x

[Hidden]

Hi Blue

Hope you managed to get some sleep & feel a little better this morning.

It must be very difficult being in another country & not knowing many people. You have my respect that you are doing this & have been doing this on your own for 2 years. To me that shows you have strength of character, you need to remember that & find a way to tap into it.

Is there a community of people from your home land where you live? If you're not sure perhaps look online. That would help you if you are feeling homesick a little (I'm sure I would if I were in your situation and speaking to someone in my home language would help).

Are there people you work with that you get along with & could be friends with? Perhaps try & learn a new skill at an evening class. This will do two things, get you out meeting new people & making new friends and give you another skill to help in searching for a new job.

You can give up or you can fight for one more day. Why not fight today & if it doesn't work give up tomorrow? Then tomorrow fight for one more day.

James

p.s. Have a rethink about the therapy and doctor. Think about the good & bad of both (if you're not sure ask on here, plenty of people can help with this) and if you still decide no to them then ok, but I'd recommend thinking about it more.

[Hidden]

Hi Blue

It sounds as if you are in the pits at the moment and can't see any way out. I won't try to give you suggestions because you will not be able to follow them at the moment - as you say, you won't want to.

Be kind to yourself if you can. It isn't possible for anyone to prevent you from killing yourself if you want to, but I hope you don't. There are some things worth having in life even though there is also a lot of pain. Just take care of yourself and time will ease some of what you feel, you may then find you see something that makes you smile and realise you are sometimes glad to be alive.

Suexx

[coatpin]

Sweet heart you sound depressed, maybe the breakup triggered a low level depression, and now its grown. It makes you feel like this. Even winning the lottery wouldnt make you feel any better. A relationship wouldnt be the right idea right now either, because how your feeling would make him run.

Go see your gp, get some time off, measure up your options. You have only one life, only you can make it happier. A man cant fix your life. Happiness comes from within.

Theres a chemical that isnt being produced in your brain, which is making you feel like this. Your an intelligent woman

you know normally you dont behave this way or feel this way. Get a gp listen to what your saying. Asap before things get worse.

keep in touch were here for you.

Linda

[Hidden]

I wish I could ease your pain.

Living on your own isn't easy especially if you have no contact with friends or family.

I don't have the answers for you, but people on HU understand what your going through.

Viktor

[Pugly29]

Hi please don't give in u need to find a bit more strength to fight this , the way ur speaking 100% please go an see a doc to get help I know u say u don't want to but this would be a huge step to building ur life bk up , I do feel the way ur talking u hv depression do you think might, could u get bk home to hv the fresh start away from ur ex ? There is a way out of how ur feeling u need to talk , u start loving u u deserve to b here u look after urself please don't do anything u will get happy !!!!

[Photogeek]

Hi Blue . Sorry your feeling so down and Depressed. If you want to change things you will need support. You will have to accept you need help and start doing stuff

To help yourself. At the moment you say you do t want to go to a GP, you will when

Things get too bad. You are from Spain , I understand you are homesick but it's in

Europe, could you at least plan a visit back home to help yourself.

Blue no one can help you if you don't want help, but I hope you change your mind

And start seeing a chink of light in the door. We are here and will help you, but

It is never easy to get unstuck, but it is really worth it.

Hugs

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hi Blue

You were feeling very low when you wrote your post and I am just writing to find out how you are? I hope you are ok, do let me know if you feel up to it. The website is very supportive and you will find warmth and understanding members some of whom who have themselves experienced similar feelings to your own.

Suex

[mittsies]

Yes you do want to live,we are are here for you ok got it,i am bluesy,it comes and goes with me but i try and find the strength.I believe we are here for a reason to help,give to others,you are so right even a wee message of HI changes someones day,take it easy

[FallenAngel]

Blue i hope your feeling better , i understand everything you say .. life is hard , depression is hell . one day at a time is all you can do xx