Following some advice received here, I looked up Thomas Szasz, a controversial American Psychiatrist, and found this (it's a little heavy but a good read if you like this sort of thing):
"The unexamined life is not worth living. Liberation from painful, constricting relationships or situations can be achieved only by assuming responsibility for one's own contributions to them and by extricating oneself from them. The only person who can change a person is that person himself".
Isn't this what we are all painfully trying to do? And if so, shouldn't we take some comfort in the courage and strength it takes to bring about these changes?