Does anyone's depression get worse when its their birthday

It soon be my birthday soon and it starts me thinking about the person I should be but I'm learning that little steps in my recovery are more important for now one issue which won't go away is I've not worked much since I left school and worried that I won't do anything whorthwile does anyone else struggle with certain issues in their lives

22 Replies

  • Good that you are managing to do the little steps and recognising it is important.

    I've worked for many years and struggle with feeling that it's not very meaningful - get more and feel as if things like my writing are more meaningful.

    Have you thought about doing some voluntary work? There are a number of charities that work with people with mental health problems around the country - the jobs may not necessarily be very exciting (catering, gardening) but they do help people to get their confidence back and provide a structure.

    Find this time of year difficult as well - not Birthday in my case but the light and the fact that my father died around this time of year. Hits me again in mid-to-late September when the light is pretty similar.

  • Hi gambit thank you for your comment I have thought about volunteering but at the moment the fearof failure is stopping me at the moment anyway i hope you are okOK from duncan

  • Hi Duncan - I guess that on one level volunteering might be the wrong word :) This is a link to a mental health charity operating in my area that exists primarily to help people who have had mental health issues build up confidence so they can get jobs

    MIND might also have some groups locally that you could join that might help - or might be able to tell you if there is something similar to Restore in your area.

  • Great idea actually Gambit, as I've found with volunteering often it is caring for others when you need care yourself. Yes something to build up confidence is a great idea. I was lucky and went to MIND groups for years and they really helped me.

    Gemma X

  • Hello

    Yes I wonder why?

    Now I am just looking forward in retirement it is not as bad,although I still feel why my parents wanted me, it reminds me of the Dogs Trust sticker in car windscreens.although I was born in August.

    Other things in life are more positive like my Voluntary Work, the above helps me be more understanding of patients needs. In the NHS Patients are not Patients they are clients, NHS workers must really feel strange looking at this in that way.

    Even when we are disabled there is a possibility in this crazy world to do something on a Voluntary basis especially in Mental Health, With me it was I was at one location as a client in a befriending club for mental health patients and I ended helping out in their Information Centre. Yesterday I was given several placings one to do with Mental Health, setting up new services. So I will run with that and GP Practice. So there is always something out there where the disabled can make a difference.

    We all have issues although Mental Health and disability always puts us at a greater risk of failure. It is up to us to stand up and run with something we really want, Voluntary work is good as we can do what we want and if ill we do not need to worry

    Give above a try on a pathway you would like to go it is a start and you never know where it will take you

    Good Luck


  • Hi Bob thank you for commenting it sounds like you are making a good effort to get back to your normal self good luck to you too from duncan

  • Absolutely Duncan. Birthdays are like the New Year and to a certain extent Christmas. They are the markings of another year gone by and we start to think more about how we feel about ourselves and what we have and haven't achieved.

    What I will say to you on this I have barely worked in my life. This being due to depression and now anxiety/depression and now fibromyalgia. This does not make you a "bad" person (I keep telling myself this) We all have qualities, strengths and weaknesses which are uniquely our own and you maybe not one of the "great workers". My sister has a successful business but she is immature, self centred and insensitive. I have a sensitive nature and maybe you the same. You can give your own qualities to situations and people will appreciate you for you.

    Of course financially it is difficult. I have never had much money and then this can affect your housing which can then affect your mental health but that is a seperate issue. In the case of how "worthwhile" you are (and I have to keep telling myself this) it does not mean you are not worthwhile. Just do your best and contribute how you can in your own way.

    And by the way, Happy Birthday for when it comes X

  • Hi still trying I agree with what you say I'm learning that just because I don't work doesn't mean I'm a bad person just bit hard to realise sometimes anyway I hope you are OK from duncan

  • I agree Duncan. Mind you I hit 60 a couple of months ago and I feel depressed that time is running out. One of the good things about aging is that I don't feel the same pressure as being young when you are 'expected' to achieve certain things in life to be a 'success' ie achieve the home and family and in a worthwhile career. I have lived with depression and lack of self esteem all my life but recognise that I have done my best and who gives a ...... what society expects of you? I have seen through all that now. The main thing for me is that I am still the same person I always was, I haven't become snobbish or look down on others nor do I judge others. In that sense even though I never achieved a great career, or had the family I am a success in my own eyes which is what's important. I have a sister who is a manager, she has also had the family but she has changed. She is so up her own ass she is in danger of disappearing! I would much rather be me and live in my modest flat and be out of work than like that. Much rather. The main thing in life is to always remain true to yourself and try and have loved ones around you like family and friends. It's your life and you do what you want to with it. You need to make yourself happy not society! Life is to be enjoyed not endured. xx

  • I agree totally with you. Being happy in your own skin. Getting older

    Makes me care less about what people think of me. It's liberating.


  • Hi coughalot thank you for commenting its nice to hear different opinions anyway I hope you are OK from duncan

  • Ps it can be difficult to know what you want in life. So try looking at what you don't want. That worked for me.

  • My birthday us in two weeks. No I don't get. More Depressed, I don't. Measure myself

    Up against any ideal person. I am good enough, I'm ok and I will keep going

    And keep trying to do things that help me feel better. I will love myself more too

    So Duncan don't get down but yes time is marching on so I want to

    Enjoy every day.


  • Hi Hannah I agree with what you have said not easy to think that way but I hope to feel like that one day anyway hope you are OK from duncan

  • Thanks Duncan.

    I think coming to terms with things comes with age Duncan.

    When I was younger I didn't think like this. Do t feel that

    Because your not working that you are worth less. Not at all,

    You seem to be a really kind person. And that's what's imp.

    It's not about what we work at, it's how we are as people.

    Hugs to you


  • All the best people are born in April ;)

  • I can only agree Will especially round about the beginning,say April 3rd :) X

  • Hello All, New here I suffer from Fibro & of course Depression, Due to the insides in Ciaos inside my body but you look ok to others, you only need to look into my eyes to see the Pain, its unreal this kind of life now & you put a brave face on for others while your inside head to foot hurt like hell, I hope you are doing away ok All

  • Acheybones I have "chronic mechanical back pain" or "arthritis in the neck" or "fibromyalgia" depending on how I am diagnosed at any time; point being I am in permanent pain like you and it is very tiring and can add to depression, so I do sympathise. The thing is as well you can mention it once but then people get fed up with you mentioning it and they just assume it has gone away when it hasn't; its something people like you and me have to deal with everyday on top of (and in my opinion seperate to) my mental health issues; so you have my sympathies.

    Do keep trying though Acheybones, it's all we can do :) X

  • I look at my self as a pain in the neck, that is getting worse, will need to keep taking the tablets.


  • Hello me again

    Does anyone feel that as we approach the final staircase, with its bright light a book of deeds will be presented to us.

    Even here on this site you are actually doing voluntary work, just by giving help and support to each other

    Every person you help may be one large tick in the Great Mans Book. You never know, although personally I do not look at that in the same light. .

    Good Luck


  • Yes. It definitely gets worse when my birthday comes up. Christmas too.

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