" I miss my love"

It's horrible when your heart is somewhere and your body is not..

People always leave, they come and eventually go. They always leave you with unforgetable thoughts and memories, but a ton of unanswered question in your head, and leaving you is more surprising then the moment they come into your life.. its been six Months post the breakup. I'm happy and recovered to some extent but the memories haunt me hardest thing in life to forget your loved one..

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  • This is particularly tough for you Sandy because of the circumstances in which it happened. It is bound to hurt, you are bound to think back and yes largely in many ways it is unfair because of the system of arranged marriage. However I think you have done really well and have moved on and largely come to terms with things. Yes it must be so hard to lose that love which you felt was so right and yet it was so wrong in that it was not able to carry on for you both.

    So sorry for your loss Sandy as I know how much you love(d) her. Time will heal hopefully. Thinking of you. Gemmalouise X

  • Hi sandy,

    I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out. I don't know what the circumstances were but i know what it's like to lose someone you love and it's very hard.

    I'm glad you're able to come on here and say how you're feeling.

    Unfortuntaley I don't have the words to make it better but just know that there are people who care about you on here and as much as it's a cliche, time will eventually pass and make it easier for you to move on.

    take care

    Nikki

  • I know it's hard but you have come a long way since you first posted.

    Just take your time

  • I know how you feel. I'm going through a break up just now. It is horrible. I don't understand how someone can love you and then just lose interest. Does that mean they never loved you in the beginning if they can start letting you down and breaking your heart? I'm not so sure. I think some people say those three words but don't really know what they truly mean. I think some people confuse love with lust.

    At least you are moving on. It is natural to always miss that person because you remember good times. But hey, at least you have the good times to remember, right? At least they can make you smile when you least expect it. The fact you say you are happy means you are recovering :). And that's all you can really ask for in the end.

  • Ah break ups are hard. All you can do is let time go by and

    Focus on making a good life for yourself. Better it ends in

    The early stages, rather than later, when you have more invested.

    Take care, how is work experience going ?

    Hannah

  • Yeah sooner rather than later is best. I just wish I hadn't fallen for him so quickly but that was because he was so great in the beginning. I still don't even know what happened. I loved him and it was hard for me to trust him but then I started to believe he really did love me. That's when it fell apart. It's like we just get tricked. It upsets me that he's not even bothered about breaking up. He just stood me up and never spoke to me again. If he ever loved me he wouldn't just accept it that easily. So maybe he never felt the way I did.

    Ah well, serves me right for trusting him. I always said that men can't be trusted in relationships but I let my guard down with him. Should have trusted my instincts.

    It's been good thanks, people have been nice so far :). I have a job interview tomorrow for admin work at Freespace which is a charity for disabled people in Edinburgh. So I have that tomorrow morning. I'm happy even if I don't get it because I like the office I'm in now. Plus they're not nasty or putting pressure on me because I'm work free of charge haha. So my anxiety isn't bad there like it was in waitressing etc.

    How is your diet going? ;) x

  • Ah I'm sad that you feel men can't be trusted. I would say

    Some people can let you down ok, but I Find you have

    To trust people. Maybe he did love you but was too

    Easily led away. I'm sure you will have plenty of

    Nice and suitable men when you are ready.

    Loving and losing happens everyone I'm sure, it

    Helps you to figure out what's real and what's not.

    Glad your job experience is going well and

    You have other offers. I'm glad that things going well

    For you, you should be really proud of yourself.

    Not great diet day today but tomorrow is another day. Lol

    Hannah

  • "Plenty" of nice men sounds good to me haha!

    Yeah that is true. And I learned a lot so it's about trying to keep your thoughts positive. But I really do feel like they are there just to hurt us. I believe men don't get hurt the way we do. I believe they experience relationships differently. He knew I have been messed around in the past and how many times I've been hurt and he just went ahead and did the same thing. He musn't be bothered at all because he hasn't even bothered contacting me. In the movies men fight for the women they love, but that hasn't happened to me and I don't expect it to. I, on the other hand, fought to keep him in my life because I loved him.

    I feel like I'm getting angry at the male gender again. Where I get angry at them if it even seems like they are being slightly disrespectful etc. My dad irritates me incredibly when he says he's the boss and runs the place etc. My blood boils and then I refuse to talk to him. When I get my heart broken, I get mad at any man and blame all men for being jerks. It's just like a reaction. My ex isn't here for me to take it out on him when I feel mad so I internalise the anger when I'm out of the house because I can't very well tell my boss he's an arse lol.

    Yeah, it's a hard thing to do and you lose will power so easily. Don't be afraid to take a break from it tho. I had days when I would eat biscuits. It just gives you a bit of relief from any cravings and gives you a bit of energy to go on with it lol. Keep trying though, you feel so proud of yourself when you see the weight coming off!

  • I am so very sorry that you were hurt so much angel and can empathise. I know of many lady friends who have been treated badly by men and my own father left my mum when I was a child so swore never to put any lady through that. It is only natural to blame guys based on the experiences of other guys but if it helps us genuine gentlemen loath idiots like that as it gives a bad name for us all and also, if one would love a lasting and loving relationship can not fathom why anyone would do such a thing? I must also confess that I am also going through the heartache of loosing a relationship as two years ago I fell in love for the first time in nine years, we were making plans and I truly loved her with all my soul...I was so happy and then one day, without warning, she ended the relationship and was with another guy the following week, someone completely the opposite to me, heavily tattooed and a bit of a bruiser, it left me questioning if I am anyone's type as I've been told I'm too much of a gent. The worst part is, I don't think that I will ever be fortunate to ever find a soulmate, someone to enjoy life with and to just cuddle, lol, I'm an incurable romantic also.

    I am so very glad that you are pulling through and hope that you continue to do so. You have a good heart and lovely personality and I know that one day, that special chap will see this in you and will want to commit properly. The disability admin work sounds great, how did the interview go? Hope you got it.

    Anyhows, I hope that you'll give some of us guys the benefit of the doubt just in case you let your soulmate pass by. Bless you dudet.

  • Wow, you're actually the kind of guy I'm looking for, as you describe yourself.

    I need a man to be romantic, caring, passionate and thoughtful. But it's the people like that who get hurt in life, like myself. I wish wasn't so ready to give everything to a guy. If you give them everything they take it all with them when they leave you.

    No I didn't get the job unfortunately. I am working part-time in a shop just now, hoping to get into office work tho. It feels like everything just kind of slipped through my fingers, office work is all I can think of to do because it can be more than minimum wage and I won't be on my feet for 8 hours every day.

    Have you dated anyone else since your love left you?

  • Maybe you guys could meet up?!

  • :) :d

  • That sounds like a good idea.lol

  • I am so very sorry to hear that you did not get the job but do not give up. Have you done much office work in the past? If you do not have the necessary experience or qualifications, it may be useful to do some voluntary work within an office environment (some councils and other bodies also have volunteers help out in libraries and museums etc) as it would look good that you give some free time to help charities etc, you'd gain the experience and you could also enquire with Learndirect about any qualifications that you may be able to get in admin. You could check with your local college to see if you could get a free enrolment onto an RSA level 1 or level 2 in business admin. Thank you for the kind compliment. Alas I am very much the same as I give everything to my partner as if you are going to love that person then that's what one does, love them! Yes, us good ones do tend to end up being used and hurt. No, I've not had a single date in 23 months....not that I'm counting lol, it's just that firstly, never wanted to be on the rebound as it would not be fair on a lady or myself so needed to be in the right frame of mind and secondly I have not yet met anyone that I wanted to date as I can not date for dating's sake, I'm terrible as I have to feel a spark, some simple little thing that melts my heart. Hope that you are keeping ok.

  • Yeah that's a good way to be. But it's also lonely, waiting for that someone. But waiting for someone right means you might not get hurt as often through life coz you are more likely to get hurt if the person isn't right for you.

    I'm ok. Feeling a bit down at times and angry at the world for dropping so much s**t at my feet but pulling through so far. Just trying to enjoy being single and not having a man mess me around. One day I will meet someone decent. At least here's hoping.

  • THANKS,

    Love and hugs to all

    I had never realised she would mean so much to my life.. I guess when you lose it you would know its true value, I don't know what I want from life, though I have got a good job but is that what I wanted I'm really not sure of the direction where I'm heading. Well it feels good to connect with you guys love you all

    Sandy

  • Yep! They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Like that song "only know you love her when you let her go." I'm not saying you didn't know what you had because obviously you did appreciate her. I'm just saying the feelings grow even stronger when the person isn't around. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.

    Take care, Sandy.

  • Hi there good to know you feel better about everything. Take care Sandy

    Hannah

  • Hi Everyone,

    Life has become busy new faces new place feeling lonely and lost no one to share. Difficulty is handling the time then the work. she is away from me i know the fact that she is not happy but can't do anything.. Life is horrible sometimes either you pretend to be happy or try hard to be happy for the sake of people. God give her the strength I know what she is going through. .

  • "Do miracles happen in real life"

  • I got a call from my ex girl friend its weird to talk she wasn't happy literally cried thinking of the past. How do I handle it as she is getting married next month. Im missing her too but don't wanna ruin her new life by being in touch. I dono how that bugger is taking forward the relationship when he knows she doesn't love him is he trying to be calculated person as she has a job and Career centric girl when he knew the past why is he gambing with the life god knows

  • Boy Sandy this must be so hard for you ! What did she say on the phone? Was there any chance of things being any different? I don't know why you feel you should not be sharing these things. However I do not want to make you worse by keep bringing it up. I had thought the marriage had already taken place. Presumably she just wanted to talk to get some comfort from you but there is no hope of this marriage not going ahead?? Boy that is so hard, but I am guessing you will still have to move on ....?

  • I know I shouldn't be sharing my personal things on a social forum.

    I refrain from now.

    Thanks lucy no point in meeting she would cry more and be in the past for few days

  • Things could have been different if she had told him earlier now I dono how wil she handle but I'm making sure of not being in touch.

    If she ends it with him I wil be more than happy.

  • Sandy, you have no reason to apologise or feel awkward about discussing your issues as it's only natural to want to talk things through and sometimes it's easier to discuss our problems with strangers than it is those we are close to. I also believe that the purpose of this site was for the well being of members and that includes the emotional eel being. You know something, Shakespeare was right when he wrote. 'The course of true love never did run smooth... ' and by the sounds of things your ex is not really happy about getting married and it seems that she is not over you either else she would not be thinking of the past. I do not know what has happened subsequently, but perhaps you could ask her 'what do you really want, where do you want to be or whom with?' You sound like a very nice chap, a sensitive, caring and empathic guy who genuinely cares about his ex girlfriend. I feel that, in time,when you have healed, you will be fortunate enough to love again and time does heal, however it does seem wrong that if two people love one one another and as long as it's not 'cheating' on another then in this short existence it's rotten that they can't be together. Is there any chance as it sounds as though she wants to be with you by your description. We're always here if you need a chat.

  • Boy you are a lovely bunch of kind and empathic people, I truly hope that your pain eases in time and that all your dreams become a reality.

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