Now after so long having a disability, and having the associated Depression I now look back to what my life has become and the person I used to be before this great leveller punched me on my nose forcing me to take notice of it.
The problems of my initial disability was not picked up by the NHS medical staff and I was forced to go private to prove a point not only to myself,also the NHS and the people I worked with. I thought proving a diagnosis would be a positive.outlook sadly this was not the case as my problems then became a rod for my own back,as I was so joyful that I had proved to my own family but also to friends and work associates sadly this proved not the case and I went from being a neurotic to being weak willed and using the problems I had with my condition as an excuse not to partake in duties that would cause damage to my body.
So now when retired through ill health the reasons that I had to pace myself, were again used to bash me over the head, nothing had changed and I started to peddle my own canoe. I become depressed by my own actions because I could not do what these supposed friends and family members would expect from me, they could not see my badge of disability and depression. This has been a mixed blessing I was lucky in my old GP practice who sent me on NHS Courses, I was advised to get my first dog who acted as a familiar to my disability. My mental health allowed me to become a Voluntary worker for a charity, then took on further interests in the NHS Service and their providing of care.This helped me understand the problems patients were having in the system, and now the breakdown of care in many serious conditions
Even now the system seems to be braking down and General Practice can feel the pinch, something will possibly give in the future, if funds are not increased.and a two week wait for an appointment is stopped
Now I try and manage my condition, and restrict my visiting of GP practice as most of my treatments are undertaken in an NHS environment, I look at myself as a creaking gate who visits a hospital regular for tests, they will tell me if something is wrong and If I suffer another health problem then will visit the GP when the need arises. In the past this was not the case,when I was at surgery I would run out of time talking about my disability and not the problem I had visited for.
We need to watch for changes not associated with our disabilities and make time for those in the GP Practice to diagnose our future illneses
All the best
BOB
Anxiety or depression? 
I'm just a mess..help?
UK Sources on Antidepressant Prescription Durations?
