I have found the last few weeks tough. Even before I knew I was loosing my job. That was just enough to tip me over into this dark pit. I saw the GP yesterday and she suggested I have a couple of weeks off work. Im seeing the counsellor next Wednesday so I hope to get some help so I can climb out of this pit. Being off work is better, however I cant see ever going back! It has got difficult lately. I work in a primary school as a teaching assistant and my patience has really been tested. I get quite irritable and short tempered with the children. I worry about getting physical. It is not fair to them. I have realised I may not be suited to working with children.
When I was in a different job about three years ago, I was off for about 4 months when I was diagnosed with depression. I have suffered with the dreaded Black Dog for many years but when it was diagnosed in 2011 I could learn how to live with it. I manged to cope for the last few years but I have had to give in to it at the moment. It is a horrible condition. I dont need to tell people how it makes you feel. I have pushed myself to write this post as I know that some of the members here will be a good support to me.
Im just doing all the things I was told before, like exercise, relaxing and having me time. I feel guilty about being off work and giving up other commitments but that is what the GP told me to do. I even have it in black and white on a sick note. I just cant see the way ahead yet. I suppose I dont have to worry about that yet but I like to start looking at options. I might go to the citizens advice to have a chat. My contract comes to an end in May. Im not sure how long I will get sick pay for as Ive only been in this present job about one year. I may have to look into benefits. I asked about this on here recently when I heard my job was coming to an end. I could look for other less stressful jobs. Im fortunate as I dont have any pressure as my wife works full time but I still need to add to our finances.
I will take things a day at a time.