Feel so miserable

[raymond47]

Been out today and tried to make myself feel better, but am feeling defeated. Why is everyday a struggle. I don't want to get up everyday and have to fight. I feel so worn down and everything seems pointless.

[Photogeek]

Hi Raymond sorry to hear you feel so down. Can you attribute this feeling

To anything that happened? Or did it just come on you like Depression does,

Like a mist. Take it hour by hour and know tomorrow that it may weaken.

Try and accept feeling bad but still be good to yourself. I find if I fight against

Depression it makes me worse. I try and accept it and do some stuff anyway.

X

[Suzie40]

Hannah is right. Fighting makes the beast fight back. Accept that it's got a temporary hold on you, and remind yourself that it'll let go when it's tired. Try and maintain a bit of normality by doing the things you usually do, and ride the storm. Thinking of you x

[jillylin]

Hi Raymond,

I am sorry you are feeling defeated. Sometimes, no matter how hard we fight, we feel that nothing is ever going to improve. Trying to do things that make us feel better is good but it is so very hard. Wish I had some words of wisdom for you beyond saying keep fighting can be good but sometimes you just need to let the depression wash over you until you feel strong enough to start again.,

Gentle hugs

Jillyxx

[Hidden]

Hello

You seem to have had many ups and downs since you first came onto this site.

Also I have read your posts and you seem to be having treatments for this disability, has your sessions now stopped or are you still seeing your CPN ?.

What brings all this down on your head, is your condition manic or are you just overwhelmed with life

problems, Just wondering the last time I wrote you were going to a training course with those in the Office ?.

How did it go? did you manage to get on with one and all, was it a success or not.?, one thing that can be stressful for you seems to be mixing with others and I can relate to that, I am a very private person and would rather turn away when people try and relate to me.

Have you got someone who you can relate too, it always helps if this is the case, I am married with a Sheepdog, the dog really understands me, Sometimes I wonder with the other one,?, LOL Although I am lucky I suppose She is always there to take the sting out of life as I am disabled and suffer from Reactive Depression caused by my disability.

If you need a chat you know where we are and we can give support and encouragement..They are very understanding and a nice crowd.

All the best, keep a hold

BOB

[raymond47 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Bob

Yes I am still seeing my CPN and have an appt on Tuesday. I'm not sure what has dragged me down this time, but it is true to say I am very much up and down.

The training was okay in as much as I managed without any extra meds and was very glad when it was over.

My depression was triggered by life events and stresses both home and work. I am much better but sometimes I feel despairing as I can't control my mind and I know I am meant to just accept things as they are +++ but I'm not that good at it.

I don't want to work at it any more, I'm tired and when I see my CPN I know she will say the same things to me. I have tried everything suggested to me, I have had psychotherapy, CBT and mindfullness. I have a lovely toolbox of self-help techniques, but I don't want to use them as they all seem pretty useless.

I know I'm being miserable and my friend would say use the BUT (I can get better), but I feel more like BUT I can't be bothered.

Need to take my meds now and then I'll go to bed. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

Sorry for rambling.

[Hidden in reply to raymond47]

Hello Raymond

No one should accept this disability, we do not volunteer for it, we are stuck with it it is all just an illness that needs to be treated and part of that treatment is confidence. You see your CPN on Tuesday, all you can do is tell how it is. Try the coping skills they do work.

Remember if you need support you know where we are

Good Luck, Keep a Hold

BOB

[Suzie40 in reply to Hidden]

You're very sensible Bob!

[Photogeek in reply to Suzie40]

Hi Lucy how are you?

[Suzie40 in reply to Photogeek]

I would say operating at about 65%. And you? X

[Photogeek in reply to Suzie40]

Lucy are you ok or just tired.. .? Or

Is it over your Mom not looking after

Herself?

[Photogeek in reply to raymond47]

Bob lovely. To read your sound reply. I always think

Of your good words " keep a hold"

Hannah

[Photogeek]

Ah Lucy I was ok and then my friends Teenage just 13 yr.old daughter phoned

Me and and said she was looking at Vintage French Sundress on Ebay. For

43Stg incl p& p. She was really putting pressure on me and she can be very

ManipulAtive. Last month I had bought herself nah her little sister a pair of

Shoes each 70 E each

Then I stupidly went on Facebook and saw my brothers family all out etc etc

And I could feel myself getting stressed and down.

But I was able to see why and accept I hate being used by my friends daughter

As she is always looking for stuff. Her parents don't work so add the rest yourself

Lucy, sorry for the rant. Lol

[Suzie40 in reply to Photogeek]

That's awful. Did you buy the dress? I'm ok, just tired I guess. Catch up tomorrow x

[Photogeek]

No Lucy I didn't buy it. It wasn't even about the money . It was her attitude.

You take it easy , I often found I was jaded after a weeks hol. So you take

Care of yourself .

Night

Hannah x

[coatpin]

good old depression, when was the last time you seen your gp, could be a time to upgrade your meds. if this is just an off day, but it sounds like its been like this for a while.

I totally empathise, I remember this so well, but it does get better honest. If you write down how your feeling, and in a months time, everything would have changed...that is why I suggest it. Its is only a period of time. When your on better meds or yours need raising, YOU will feel much better. You might have two good days and for bad, and then 3 good days, and one bad, it will go like this till you have more good days than off days.

Were all here plugging for you, so make that oppointment with your gp. the sooner you do the sooner you will feel better.

thoughts are with you. x Linda

[raymond47 in reply to coatpin]

Hi saw my CPN today and have an appt with psychiatrist for medication review at the beginning of next month.

[duncan1971]

Hello ray sorry to hear things are not great with you depression can drag you down try and do little things what get you through the day not easy I know try not to put pressure yourself hope you feel better soon

[coatpin]

Next month!!!! thats four weeks away!!! Cant you ask to bring this appointment forward,,, as being urgent!! its a long time to be feeling this way.? not harm in asking. Or maybe they are giving it more time to see if the meds might click in, and start working.

One thing I did was talk to anyone who would listen ie samaritains. (Or counsellor , they can get them to bring your appointment forward)in a way it was helpful, but at least when your feeling bad you can talk though it.

Another thing I did, was ask myself what did I used to do as a kid that I enjoyed. Then I went into B&Q and there was some kites. So I bought one. Went to a nice place, and took something to eat and drink. and flew the kite.. It took up hours, and started to remember why I enjoyed it. the feeling of keeping the kite up in the air.. the wind in my face, the clouds, forming,,, and it took my mind off my thoughts for a while.

Then I went into tescos and got the cheapest bread. Then I went to the park where there were swans and ducks. I just fed them, and took in how they were and who was chasing who away. It took my thoughts away from things, and I really enjoyed it.

So what im saying is, if you buy a remote racing car, or a boat what ever you might enjoy, remember your childhood and what the simple things we used to do as a child and zone out for a bit. I think as adults we forget to have fun, and get bogged down. After if you feel tired go for a sleep, its the bodies way of mending. Your ill, so treat yourself well.

go buy a magazine, and read it in mc donalds, have a nice coffee. pretend your their alone if the other people disturb you. just zone out.

Or go buy a pad, and start writing about how your feeling and your experiences, who said what to you, and how you felt about it. Maybe this way, you could write something that might help the medical mental health teams in the furture know how it feels when people like us feel down. Or buy a pad, and paint how you feel. When you look back on them , you will see how far you have come in your recovery.

My thoughts are with you, at this testing timex

Linda

[raymond47 in reply to coatpin]

Hi

No one has ever suggested this to me and I think its quite a good idea to recreate something simple that we enjoyed doing as kids, I will have a think and try it.

As far as the appointment goes that is the soonest I could get as I am not in crisis, and I am travelling to another Hospital to be seen sooner as it is.

Just cutbacks in our area and they sold of the premises that the MH team used in my area so being seen by my CPN in redundant library sharing with back to work people.

[coatpin in reply to raymond47]

I suffer depression, so I had the training as a counsellor, and I just thought through my dark days, do something you used to do, and enjoyed.

I loved gardening in the more active days. So when I went shopping, I bought some flowers. and would often look at them. I realized colour could change our mood. So I changed my bedroom which was a beige colour. and I changed it to that background green colour behind your profile silhouette torquasie. sorry, I forgetting how to spell.

This seemed to help me to start waking up, if you know what I mean. And nice smells triggers memories. and awakens something in the brain. Just my personal experiances.

let me know how your going with it, if it helps wouldbe interesting. Linda x