I've been depressed for sometime now, I work 30 hrs a week in quite a demanding job, but I struggle at time to keep my head above the water, I mean to stay sane (feel like I'm going made at times as my thoughts are so negitive). On my days off I have no motivation at all. My marriage is falling apart not because of my depression, in fact I think that my failing relationship contributes to my depression. I have been on antidepressant on several occasions but I feel dopey, fluffy brained, and forgetful so I stop taking the medication. I feel so hopeless and there is no sign of things improving and this is very scary for me, the thought of this depression continuing for years. I feel like screaming, I just don't want to feel like this any longer. My husband thinks that I should plan my time better and I would achieve more as I often remain in my dressing gown all day when I am off, but I just don't care about anything any more. I know I might be waffling but my mind is so mixed up and I just want to know if others understand, so that I don't feel like I am alone, I just hate how I feel. There have been times when I think life is not worth living, but I think about my children. Does anyone understand, please reply soon, I could do with an understanding friend.