Just joined this site this evening. I've had depression, I suppose, for about ten years now, but only really found out about it a couple of years ago. I've had medication and CPD, but the CPD session ended last summer, and I decided to stop the medication for various reasons. I was on jobseekers for a bit but eventually quit as they made me feel guilty for being a graduate so I took housekeeping and childminding jobs and volunteered part-time at a local museum. This led to me getting a year-long internship with the museum, and after interview I was offered a 12 month contract last summer after my internship was up. It's a good job, it's well paid, I'm extremely lucky to have walked from a volunteering position into a managerial post. I can manage to get up and go to work each day, and complete my workload. Yet none of this takes away from the fact that I do not have any confidence in myself. I feel like I'm drowning each day, and I just want to scream (or more likely, curl up into a little ball and cry as that would be less intrusive to other people). I don't know if people think that the fact I am 'coping' means that I don't have depression. How do other people feel? Does depression mean you have to be lying on a couch all day and not be able to get up? I know if I didn't have a job I would be worse, as having a job means I have to get up and go out, otherwise I would feel even worse about myself than I do now. It's like I have to work so hard just to keep me feeling at a neutral level, and the slightest thing that goes wrong, or feels wrong, is enough to send me into floods of tears.
Last edited by CarmelaGrace
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.