"A weird thought came into my mind"

Recently my gal friend got engaged to some other guy and soon to marry him in a month.. I got a weird thought of posting a comment on my FB status as Deeply in love with.... her name along wid surname dis will be a big blunder knowing tat her engagement had got over last month she has posted the photos with him. It hurts to see but I frequently visit FB to see d snaps..as I cant say infront of her now tat I love her so much.. should I post it on internet as we have common friends and family in FB friend list.. sure gonna get kicked, the strange part is the guy knew of our affair even though he got hooked up with my girl..

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  • morning Sandy.

    So sorry for your hurt right now. When we hurt we can sometimes think of doing things that actually won't help us.

    I would not post anything on the Internet if it were me. I can totally understand your hurting but will doing that take the pain away?

    Only time heals, and it does, it's hard to believe that right now I know, but it's true.

    Sending you a hug and hoping you have a peaceful day.

    Sue xx

  • Hi Sandy

    I notice in many of your posts that you refer to her as 'your girlfriend'. Sandy she is not your girlfriend any more and I think until you accept this, you will continue to torture yourself about her being unfaithful. She isn't being unfaithful. She has ended the relationship with you and met someone else, which she is more than entitled to do,

    I understand how much you are hurting, but posting things on Facebook isn't going to bring her back, and it won't make you feel better either. It'll cause lots of trouble and your mutual friends may decide to de-friend you.

    As hard as it may be, if I were you I would delete her as a friend on Facebook to save myself the pain of looking at her pictures of her everyday. You'll miss it and regret it at first, but in time you'll be glad you aren't getting such painful reminders everyday day.

    I hope you get a good day

    Lucy x

  • Morning Lucy.

    I agree with you, it's so painful to keep seeing someone you have feelings for. One of the downsides of Facebook.

    It's real hard and feels awful when your hurting but looking at pictures is just adding to the pain and hampering the process of being able to move on.

    Sue xx

  • We've all done it, but it doesn't help x

  • Hi Sandy, in this situation could you ask yourself something like "What long term good would come about by me doing that thing"? and then write down any longterm good which could actually come out of you making that impulsive act.

    How could it make things better for you or your situation?

    So for example what is the longterm good of you writing that comment on facebook?

    1)

    2)

    3)

    What negative things could happen as a result of you making that impulsive act?

    1)

    2)

    3)

    ( I will let you fill in the gaps)

    Not trying to be nasty, just trying to make you think. Please don't do it. Like Lucy said I suggest you unfriend this lady (who is no longer your gal) and if necessary leave facebook alone. Is there some sort of outdoor physical activity you could do to take your mind off things.?

    No-one is suggesting it is easy or that you are weak for feeling like this. I am trying to get you to look after yourself and see that by doing something like this you would be making things worse for yourself and your overall situation.

    Gemmalouise x

  • Thanx guys,

    A hug to all.

    Well I know things have been changed now. However somewere down the corner I feel she would come back and feel its just a engagement things can be worked out, I know this is a stupid thing to accept as of now spoke with her last week. she has changed a lot over a month as her fiance is genuinely a good guy and madly in love. So both have planned for future. I dont want to ruin her life as she has gonna through lot of pain.. but one part of my heart wants her back..I guess once she is married this stupid thoughts will remain with me and my posts he he.. I'm happy to be honest as her family is proud and he is really taking such a good care which made me realise I should be like him.. I'm thankful to him as he is much deserving then me.. Thank you guys atleast I have you guys to share my feelings..

    lots of love to all

  • Hugs to you Sandy.

    Yes we are here to share your feelings and we do understand.

    Please don't bring yourself down you are just as deserving, and in time to come you will feel better.

    I can remember how I felt when a similar thing happened to me, it's a horrible pain, emotions are high, and I didn't feel good about myself. With time it healed and I felt much better.

    Thinking of you, keep posting it's good to hear from you.

    Xxxxx

  • It's is hard to let go sometimes of what you want it believe is best. I was married for 13 years but 11 months of that we lived together as friends. We have a gorgeous bairn and we get through it but..., occasionally I look at him and think what if, what if if tried harder etc etc. in short let it go. Find someone new. Find someone who is good for you. I did, it's great. X

  • Hope I would be lucky as you.

    Well sacred to get into relationship at the moment and I don't need it either.. 6 years means a lot in realtionship, anyways its over but we both value our realtionship and never blamed or regretted or abused infront of others saying she/he ditched and all that.. everything happens for a reason, just go with the flow never plan anything in life, because life has its own plan too.

    Love to all

    Sandy

  • Listening a sad song guess its the best way to vent your tears. I'm touched by this song abhi mujh mein kahin,(agneepath Hindi movie sonu nigam singer) it took me back relieved the memories for a moment.. life was beautiful when you were the one to write it!!

  • Ooh bless you;just listened to it and posted up the link on here and English translation of(some of) the lyrics. I love the Hindi movies . It's tough Sandy but you will get over it in time. That's the way life is; it is hard and sometimes it doesn't feel fair. There will be another love for you in the future. Just give it time :)

    Still somewhere inside me

    There's a little life remaining

    A new heartbeat came up

    I've got to know I'm still alive

    Such tenacity

    In there in the moment

    Where was this moment

    Now its infront of me

    Should I die or live a little?

    Should I kiss joys?

    should I cry a little?

    Should I die or live a little?

  • Hindi version is better he he!!

    I wonder what she must be going through we both have promised to not be in touch anymore.. Thanx appreciate it dear.

  • Hugs to you sandy.

    Xxxxx

  • Hey thanx,

    I want her to be happy and start a new life. wish her all the best from bottom of my heart..

    Love to all

    Sandy

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