I'm 20 years old and for the past few years I have not been feeling right. I have become boring and miserable and I don't know why. I always try avoid people because I don't feel like having a chat it's like I have no idea what to say and feels really awkward. I never want to do anything even going to the shops. I feel like I want to hide away and I'm never happy, I'm always searching for something and I can never find what it is. My grandad said something before about depression in the family and he's been on amitriptline for the past 40 years but I have never seen it as really an issue for me, I guess the past 2-3 years I've thought what I was feeling was me growing up and changing that's why I turned boring but only tonight at work made me start looking into it abit more as I've looked up depression online before and just forgotten about it the next day. I went to work in a really motivated good mood until I arrived and seen the kitchen in a right state (I'm a chef) and that's when It hit me. I started to feel confused and everything felt pointless, I couldn't make choices couldn't make my mind up about what to do I was literally walking round like a zombie with no idea what I was doing and every since I've felt the same. I felt really awkward around everyone and felt horrible inside, my head couldn't understand the feeling I was experiencing. I'm not sure if I should see my gp or what to do that's why I'm posting something on here first because I feel a bit silly in a way am I talking rubbish or is there a reason why I feel so low and horrible? Sorry for the essay thanks to all that read it
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