Struggling to come to terms with a shattered relationship, a vicious eating disorder, expulsion from music school, an overload of work and the death of a close friend, I have walked, unfocussed, balanced on the edge of a mental abyss.
My mind was detached and my eyes unseeing, the wheel held loosely in my hands, yet it was only as I felt the fatal crash that I finally tipped over the edge.
I needed to run, I needed to hide, I needed to crawl into a hole and die. All I had surpressed finally surfaced to a blind and shivering wreck, the darkness I had fought came to claim me as I embraced the sleeping night.
My hands shook but breathing was steady as the liquid slid the pills down, I closed my eyes and swallowed the poison to end a bitter toil.
I blacked out, only foggily awaking at intervals to vomit and shiver beneath the cold, remembering little but the haunting sound of sirens, the bustle of nurses surrounding my bed, the soft beep, beep of machines, and the flashing lights illuminating the dark ward I awoke to.
They will not let me go.
Written by
buzzie-bee
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I'm not sure if this is poetry or what you have actually experienced in the form of poetry, in any case it's beautiful, you're description of words and images I mean, not that actual thing. You are a very talented writer, do you continue to write? And if so, what type of writing?
I hope this isn't what you have experienced as it sounds horrible, I hope you are ok, and I'm here if you need a chat x
Aww bless you thank you. I actually thought this was a really rubbish peice of work as my heads still all over the place, but yes, it happened on friday and I'm just out of hospital.
I do write quite a lot actually but never really thought I was very good at it, I just write about personal experiences finding that when I'm at my worst, writing and drawing allow me to release what I'm feeling onto the page. I actually have a wee blog on wordpress with more stuff I've written if you'd like a wee look at it, I put this post I've just written up on it as well - thetatteredmanuscript.wordp...
Have you finished a bad relationship an need help with both of these things, we can give support if you need it. Do you need to let go of above and move on.
Yes I have had a few problems but I find these communities help me feel a sense of support from people who understand ând have had similar experiences, I also feel that just finding somewhere to write helps a lot to put my thoughts down
Sorry not sure this was the answer you were looking for...
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