I am feeling so low today. I just want to curl up in a ball on the sofa and never get up. I have had ongoing "do i - dont i" feelings for my boyfriend, who has done nothing wrong, who on paper is pretty damn perfect and who I would feel lost without. This morning I gathered a few of his clothes together he has at mine and told him to leave. I said he would be better off without me. That all this "do i - dont i" stuff wasnt fair on him. My christmas present from him was a few days away starting from this coming wednesday. I told him I didnt want to go. So now he has left and I am here at home. I am anxious and scared and my heart is beating on overtime. And I dont know what to do.