Am I depressed?


I don't really know where to start. I'm a 24 year old primary school teacher and have struggled with stress levels and anxiety (undiagnosed) for the last couple of years. The last 6 months or so I've been struggling more with my daily stresses, both at work and at home. I have regular feelings that I'm not good enough in all areas of my life. At work I feel like I'm not in control, despite a very supportive group of colleagues. I take work home with me every day and weekend, which means that I neglect my household and feel constantly guilty about it. I have been arguing more with my boyfriend for these reasons, as well as that I am snappy and irritable with him. Our sex life is terrible as I never feel like I want to be touched, and get very anxious about it every time he tries to touch me. I feel like I'm not good enough for him. I've been avoiding friends and social situations where possible, and feel numb and like I have nothing to contribute when I am with friends. I' m also constantly very tired and struggle to get to sleep, though I know these may just be due to my job.

I just want some advice really on what to do next. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this.

7 Replies

  • Heya,

    The best thing to do is talk to your GP. If you go to this webpage:

    there is a quick test to give you an indication of whether you might have depression. You could take your score to the GP, and that would give you a way to start the conversation.

    It does sound from what you say like depression is a definite possibility. Pretty much everything you mention is a common symptom of depression as far as I know. How are your eating patterns holding up? That's another possible indicator.

    Try to talk to your boyfriend - I know exactly how hard it is to tell those close to you, took me ages - but it will help if he has an idea how you feel, otherwise he could end up thinking it's him, or that you don't care about him anymore.

    I hope you let us know how you're get on - if you don't want to talk to other people this is a great place to come and vent or for advice :)


  • Definitely go and see your GP - they will probably do some blood tests as well as there are a lot of things - thyroid and some vitamin deficiencies - that have depression as a symptom.

    If you are more tired in the evening than the morning then that is a potential indicator that it isn't just depression.

    Long term anxiety can also lead to depression.

    Try the test above and take that with you - and if possible make a double appointment - write all of your symptoms down with timescales so you don't forget anything ... and finally, if there is a friend that can come with you - a second pair of ears as it is so easy to mishear what GP is saying when you are stressed - that could also be a big help.

    You might find it useful to think about something like RELATE with your boyfriend if he would go - just that it is easier to talk if there is someone else there who can help make sure that you really are communication - hearing each other was well as talking.

  • Hi

    I can really relate to your post, in fact it feels like I am reading about myself. I would suggest that you keep posting on here as everyone is really lovely and has lots of advise to help. If you haven't done so already I would also suggest that you goto see your gp for a chat and support

    Jules x

  • H I there and sorry your feeling so stressed. Definitely the GP should be your first port of call. I remember once when I was Depressed feeling overwhelmed at work and just not coping. Depression can strike subtly at first so you just get more stressed. And then

    Ones relationship can get affected too.

    Your Doctor should be a able to help and also talk to your boyfriend and explain

    That your just not well at the moment. It can be hard on the partners as they feel

    Helpless . Listen good luck with the GP and let us know how you get on .

    Posting here will help you as people here are supportive and you won't feel alone.


  • Hey

    I agre with everything the others have said, but thought I'd put my primary school teacher slant on, too. Teaching is such an incredibly stressful job and I'm guessing by your age that you're in your second or third year? I remember feeling totally swamped by all the policy, planning and constant demands made of me. I spent the first few years teaching, trying so hard to remember everything I'd learned at uni, but at the same time realising that you learn nothing about teaching until you get your first post! I often wonder whether I would actually be depressed if I wasn't a primary school teacher. People who make snide remarks about teachers' holidays have absolutely no idea the emotional drain that teaching puts on us. The constant feelings that I've let my class down, that they might not achieve because of me, that I'm not good enough to be responsible for thirty little people, all overspill into my home life and these feelings manifest themselves in all sorts of unwanted ways. The thought of intimacy verses that of a decent night's sleep is ludicrous! I'm not in a relationship any more, but I remember when I was, doing the deed while mentally working through my to do list for school! I think of you were to write a list of the ten things that worry you the most right now, at least nine would be related to teaching! X

  • I agree absolutely with this response - it sounds as though the main cause of the stress in your life - and therefore of any depression - is your work! Is there any way you can get access to a counsellor through the school or education department, I know there is always the fear that it will interefere with any chances of promotion, etc but I do think the high workload needs addressing. My own experience is that teaching workloads are crazy! Suex

  • Hello

    Sorry for your problems with Depression, if you want to do a test on Depression you will find one on NHS CHOICES website.

    Basically you can tell what is going on and you really need to take these problems to your GP. You will possibly need a double appointment and also will need to write down what is going on at work and home and the reasons you are feel that you are not worthy and a failure. Medications may, possibly need to be taken initially for a restricted time, then most probably your GP will asses and decide if you need to talk things out with a CPN.

    With regard to your boyfriend it may be that you should have a heart to heart with him and discuss your feelings, His support will help you put your life back into some form of perspective, It is always best to try and catch this condition sooner rather than later .

    When I was a great deal younger my Mother trained to be a teacher and She was always bringing back work from class most nights, She was also preparing for next days class. She was teaching in a bad area and she always felt it was a thankless task,It may be possibly a good time to discuss these problems with those who work with you.Some form of support and understanding may be forthcoming as depression in teaching is a common problem. Do former ASAP as this needs to be caught in the bud very quickly

    One problem about leaving it to long is you become, jaded with teaching and you pack it in, that would not only be sad it is a loss of years of training you have put in. .

    Good luck with your teaching, Keep a hold


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