Relationship problems

I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder 4 years ago and have bouts of depression and mania but i have to say it's more depression than mania. I used to frequently cut myself, drink a lot and found it hard to eat anything most days. I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and it's been the happiest two years of my life. Since getting with him I've stopped cutting, began eating normal, regular meals and gave up alcohol.

He's just recently got his dream job and its means he'll be moving away and we wont be able to see each other as much. I know it's something he's always wanted to do, but he if takes this job i don't think i could stay with him. Just because he seems to love me when he's not busy but when he is, he doesn't care. He's broke up with me once before, because he got a new job and was "too busy" with his new job and new friends. I've spoken to him about this and he doesn't seem to be bothered that we'll have to break up. All he said was "If we do break up i don't want it to be on bad terms". I also just don't understand why he would want to do this knowing that there is a possibility we would have to break up. I've given up so much for him, just so we could be together, I gave up my dream job, pretty much my social life as well as other things and he's never given anything up for me. If i was in his position i wouldn't take the job and everyone i know has said the same. I just don't think he loves me and i think i'm holding him back from his dream job and from finding his true love. But I just dont want to let him go and i fear if i do i'll go back to the way i was with the alcohol and cutting. I've already started cutting again with this whole situation. I know there is a chance it could work out when he moves but its unlikely and i dont want to be in a relationship where im constantly worried that he's going to leave me.

I just dont know what to do :(

5 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I think if you asked or expected him to give up his job for you, it would signify the end of your relationship. You can't expect him to be your emotional crutch. You say you gave up your own dream job and social life for him. Did he ask you to? I don't think you can base a relationship on conditions like this. Anyone is entitled to peruse success in their career. If I can be brutally honest, it sounds to me like he is perhaps ready to end the relationship, but he's worried about the effect it will have on you.

  • Yeah he asked me to not to take my job because i'd have been moving to France so i didn't do it. He's going to be doing this training programme for a year and then he's expecting me to give up my job and leave my friends and family behind and go and move to where ever he is and i just dont think its fair of him to expect so much of me when he has never given anything up for me

  • I've tried to break up with him but he just says i'm being selfish for not even trying to make it work long distance

  • Hello

    Stick with any happiness that you can grab, can you not be with Him. I lived with my wife for 3 years before getting married and now been together, married, for thirty three years. When we are young we live our lives with a deep intensity that we seem to not do when older. If things do not work, another bus will follow, although do not jump of the bus in front the other one may have the wrong number.

    Work it all out, we are all worried about what may, give the next day a chance

    BOB

  • Thank you for all of the advice! Everyone is so nice on here, I've got till February to decided what to do so i'll just have a think about things

You may also like...