I need some help figuring out what's wrong with me

My mood can go from extremely low where I self harm, to manic where I run about, am unable to focus and cant speak quietly, I end up getting on people's nerves and I hate myself for it which makes be feel depressed again.

I did tell my mum about the self harm and she took me to a therapist, I had to stop going after two sessions because it was too hard to talk to a stranger in person about these things, I'm sure she thought I was lying about it too and I couldn't tank being judged...

6 Replies

  • I have had bi-polar disorder they day since I was a teenager. Don’t worry about being judged, a therapist can help you figure it out. If I hadn’t gotten help when I was a teen, I probably would have harmed myself. You have to accept sometimes that your brain might be wired differently than others and that’s okay.Keeping a diary about you’re mood can help you too. There are different kinds of bi-polar disorders, or manic-depression as it used to be called. Seriously get help, there is no shame in being different. If this therapist doesn’t feel right find another, not everyone will click with you. Don’t give up, get some help. We all need a little help sometime.

  • There is a difference between what people are actually thinking and what we think they are thinking and the two are very often difficult. On one level the therapist does need to judge you because they need to understand what is the best way to help you so it could be a good thing.

    Have you seen your GP? Would be good to book a double appointment if you go for the first time. Could be a lot of things that are causing the mood swings - are the changes quite swift? or do they follow a pattern. You could be asked to keep a diary.

    It's always difficult for parents that are aware their children are self harming - feels like they have failed and they just don't know what to do - often results in a lot of shouting and very heated debates so it was actually quite positive and sensible of your mother to take you to a therapist.

    Do go back if you can bear it.

  • Just to add - oscillating moods don't necessarily mean you are bi-polar - particularly if the change happens quite quickly.

  • Cee have you actually been diagnosed as bi-polar? Your first point of contact should be your GP, who can then refer you onwards. Once you have a diagnosis there are several medications that can really help. Good luck.

  • Hello BOB here

    You really need to see your GP asap, it sounds if you are MANIC ,jumping from flat to elated. moods

    If you are self harming,this can be either looking for attention or some enjoy the pain.

    You really need to be diagnosed the only way that is going to happen is getting an appointment with a CPN in the first instance,and He/She will point you in the right direction. Today few end up in hospital most are treated in a calm environment like a clinic or home environment.

    Sometimes you may be fortunate to have the use of a call-in club, day centre where you will meet people with many different problems associated with mental disorders. Over the years I was involved as patient then Volunteer for seven years until I moved away.

    Please see the GP and a referral should follow after a course of medication. There is no slur on this and all places you will generally go throughout the centres is very informal

    All the best


  • Thank you so much for all the advice I'm going to talk to my parents about getting an appointment

    Sometimes you can just get stuck and have no idea what to do, I really appreciate this

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