This last week as to have been the longest one ever!!! I am at a low at the minute anyway but it seemed like if anything could go wrong it as. My daughter stropped off to her dads (she has no rules there) my work have announced that they are making some redundancies and then my husband was rushed into hospital in agony which turned out to be kidney stones (he is feeling much better) for as stressful as this all seems I seem to just get on with it without to much mither!! I am heartbroken inside about my daughter but just seem to carry on. Even with all this going on it still can't take over my overall feeling of sadness and failure!! I have spoken to my husband and explained to him how I feel that I feel like I am here to stop them going through the pain of losing me so I am putting myself through the pain of living everyday for him and the kids. I am back at the doctors again tomorrow but I feel like I'm wasting her time because I'm not getting any better I know I won't tell her how bad I am feeling because I feel like I'm moaning like I'm being selfish and self obsessed!! Then I have got my first meeting with my counsellor I don't know how I feel about it because I really struggle actually speaking to people how I feel without feeling pathetic. How pathetic is that tho? I feel like life could be so simple but I'm making it hard with my bahaviour. I am so bloody frustrated!!!!
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