Really Struggling This Week... Don't Know What Else To Do.

[crazycara]

Ola everyone again,

I know I posted recently, but how I felt this morning just justified another post. For the past 3 weeks I've began struggling with my depression again, (not that it was great before, but I was getting a hold on it), I know everyone suffers from set backs, but I just can't seem to get out this time.

It doesn't help that I'm ill, and I miss my boyfriend. I've been extremely lonely this week, crying and feeling extremely low, bored, etc, especially as my housemates all have partners, with their doors locked and sex noises coming through the walls. It's just making me shrink back into my hole away from everything. I can't see my boyfriend for a while yet, and we're both desperate too, but you know how it is - money and stuff.

I'm not complaining about the noises, the walls are extremely thin and even with music on loudly you can always hear, I know my housemates have heard me. Usually I wouldn't care, but just because of how lonely I've felt this week especially yesterday and today, I think it's just made it incredibly difficult.

It doesn't help that I can't sleep very well at all, for good knows how long, and then I get woken up by my housemate having sex... twice... then they both laughed about waking people up - like it's a hilarious thing, like I said I usually wouldn't care, but this time round its hard - I know I can't blame them it's not like they know how I feel and they have to cater to how I feel anyway.

Also with the fact that when I did drift off, I had horrible dreams of my boyfriend with someone else etc etc... I don't have any fear of him leaving me especially for someone else, or even cheating on me, I just think because I could hear them in my sleep it affected my dreams. Doesn't stop how realistic it felt though...

Am I just making a fuss over nothing? Does anyone have any advice on how to pull myself through for this weekend? I can't stay like this, I hate it.

x

[Gambit62]

First - there are no limits on how frequently you post - the community exists to help people and one of those ways of helping is giving people a chance to express the inexpressible.

Second - it's really difficult to cope with sounds - it can be one of the most intrusive ways the world around us has of leading us down into thought patterns that we just don't want to follow, and it's really difficult to realise that actually it is just sounds and we don't have to go down those well worn thought tracks ... though it is really difficult to break out of the ruts.

I presume that you are finding it difficult to concentrate on stuff but it does sound as if you would be better of getting out of the house and going for a walk - even round the block - rather than allowing yourself to feel trapped by 4 walls in a little cell.

You could try distracting yourself with some of the comedy programs on the radio or tv - eg iplayer. Know you probably don't feel like that at all but one of the tricks that depression plays on us is that we often don't feel like doing something until we actually start doing it.

I think you are right about the dreams being the brain responding to noises off. I dreamt my way through some amazing storms when I spent a week working in Tanzania - took a few days before I realised it was a) all the trucks in the world went down the main road straight past the hotel I was staying in at 3 am and b) the electric would come back on about 4 am - each part of town only seemed to have power for half the day!

Hope you feel a bit better soon

[crazycara]

I know theres no limit, I just don't want to bore people with my constant moaning, you know? I am finding it difficult to concentrate especially when it comes to University, I try and read at least a chapter a day from a book, to help with this.

I have been watching a lot of programmes atm, like the walking dead, bones, house, american horror story, and various other series - I enjoy TV series a lot haha

Tbh I'm feeling a lot better now. I think I just had a hard time for the beginning of the week/end and now I'm starting to feel a bit better.

Thanks for your reply means a lot.

x