Had one of those days.
Woke up feeling spooked - partly aftermath of a bowls match yesterday which the love of my life really didn't enjoy and went off in a bit of a huff afterwards ... nearly burst into tears when the am text ended with 'I still love you'. Tears of relief - he often ends texts like that so not reading much into it but it was so very much what I needed to hear then. But it was also the first time I was meeting with my deputy since the start of August because she has been on holiday for a month and I'm picking performance management strands and really scared of my frustration showing - I know she is really trying but there are some things that I'm not sure she will ever really get the hang of and there's just too much work for all of us so having to get so bogged down in detail really isn't helping me.
Anyway, was kind to myself - and listened to a Beethoven symphony and a few other bits before I headed into work. I was cycling down a hill which has a lot of speed bumps on it and just caught one at the wrong angle and that was really scary - nearly came off but somehow managed to stay on - fortunately there wasn't much traffic around so the one car that was coming up the hill was able to slow and let me get everything back under control and back onto the right (or should I say left :)) side of the road. That left me feeling quite shaky - but was able to calm myself on the train working through some puzzles and then just sitting back and listening to the engine purr - which I do find quite relaxing. Didn't get entirely spooked when I got to Oxford and realised that it was the St Giles Fair and I had to make a detour - something I hate because 20 years ago I was knocked off another bike by a bus because of all the detours. Just background nerves. Managed to get through long meeting with deputy and a few other things and then headed home at 1600 - was starting to feel the fear levels rising again. Suspect it's just hormones in the background ... but the incident on the bike has let them have a field day today.
Really looking forward to tomorrow being over - as St Giles Fair is a two day event.
I went for a run about 18.30 to calm myself a bit (post Home and Away which is back - well that's a silver lining if ever there was one :)) and the clouds were beautiful so came home, picked up camera and went out again - and that was the excuse for this post though I must admit I do feel a lot better for righting down all the stupid manifestations of anxiety and getting them out of me and into the cloud.
Hope you have all had stress free days.