I think i'm coming out of a bad few days, was angergly miserable at my brother. Of course as usual making mountains out of mole hills. But it really reminded me how far I can slide downhill .
Anger, wild imagination, paranoina, not a good combination.
It made me ask myself , how many of my grans genes and bad habits I've ended up with. I remember the resentment, anger and misery that she directed at herself and her relatives. I can still vividly recall the relief as a kid everytime my dad came home after visiting her that she hadn't poisened his tea.
Haven't had the get up and go this summer to do much, know I should be looking at c.b.t. texts, or just getting out and doing stuff, but just seems like wading through treacle in slow motion, I work at a school, so maybe being at a loose end has made me more maudline. Have recently changed the pill I used for rotten periods, again, sooooo relieved it's working, don't know if it's a coincidence, but have been unmotivated since about when I switched pills, feel detatched, can't get enthisiatic about anything, not that interested in eating..
Just hope that getting into a routine next term will do the trick, cause right now I don't know how I'm going to get through the winter feeling so disjointed and putting the worst interpretation on everything..