4 months on

I went to the doctors in the end and have been diagnosed with very high depression and social anxiety. Iv been on citlopram for just over 3 months and they have really helped me. I have in this time cut myself a few times and attempted suicide again. Luckily the cuts weren't deep enough so I just bled a lot but didn't hit a vein.

I am feeling happier and more myself but still struggle daily with the thoughts of suicide and the urges to cut. I am managing my anxiety a bit better but have not been out in a big group so far so I'll have to wait and see why it's like when I get to it.

I jut want to tell people going to the doctor can help, having to beg for help and go from doctor to doctor to get it is not embarrassing it's helping yourself and proving you have the strength to pull through it and that your strong.

I believe in you and so should you.

3 Replies

  • That's so true. Getting to that initial GP appointment is sometimes the biggest hurdle you climb. For me it was, anyway. So glad things are going well for you just now, I've always found citalopram successful x

  • Hi

    It's good that you were able to see the GP because depression can be so difficult to cope with, cutting also says you need help and it's great that you could face asking for help with that too. You will have had difficult things to deal with that have left you with feelings that are released by cutting but perhaps you can find a healthier way to release the feelings? I find writing about them helps, it enables me to feel understood and at the same time to explain where the feelings might come from and that helps me to make some sense of them. It doesn't always help for a very long time in which case I write again, but each time I feel I can write more clearly, come to some better understanding, and that helps me to look after myself better and care more about myself. You might write about the feelings that make you want to cut and when they first begun, what made you feel so bad then.


  • I have a blog I use as a place to help people with depression and self harm and also talk about m personal struggles and worries. It does help but sometimes is not enough so I try other things like painting my nails or reading.

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