Still no news from the CMHT. It is so hard to appear to cope well when feeling suicidal. The change in medication has improved things, and may well continue to do so. However, I have a lot of stress, particularly financial, and with my little animals - plus major pain flare-ups.
Because of the circumstances involved, I had very hard feelings towards one little 'furry' who caused another one to be so scared that he died. I felt I could never forgive him, and was trying to make arrangements to rehome him, but I'm just beginning to accept that he didn't do it deliberately, and I can't attribute human thought patterns to him. I have cuddled him this morning and, once his hormone levels have dropped, am planning a possible introduction. Unfortunately I posted things on a couple of forums which have upset a few people. I wish I could keep my mouth shut. Actually trying to keep someone unidentifiable can make things cryptic and confusing! It's also hard to think of the financial implications of everything - I've had a lot of vet bills this month - plus having to pay £30 because my (ex) gardener - for the second time - was unable to tell the difference between a TV aerial and the hedge!.
I'm having a lot of problems with feeling really shaky and sweaty - it's hard to know how much is due to my physical problems, how much to certain medication etc.
I'm also battling with procrastination and have a lot to do. Today I hope to do a little at the library and go over to the service at Burrswood.
Well, I must do some tidying, fuss the animals and go down to the shops.