Yesterday I was on the PR stand for the Estuary Rat Club at the Sussex Country Fair. I had been quite apprehensive about this, but it went very well, although it wasn't easy with one person. Before I went I'd had an appalling night - went to bed early, but my pain meds kept me awake with severe itching, then I had to get up at 3.30am to get ready to leave at 5am. I realised that one of my elderly rats was 'slipping away' and was amazed to find her still here when I came back. She spent the latter part of the night in bed with me, and was helped 'over the rainbow bridge' by my lovely vet this morning.
Naturally, I feel sad but it is 'normal sadness' - different from the depression. She was a very special little rat - a licky girl - very friendly, but with a health problem which kept her very thin all her life, but the last hours with her were really peaceful, and my vet is very, very special.
My back and PMR pains are a nuisance this morning, but I think that if I have a rest things will ease. I see the rheumatologist tomorrow - still no news on the CMHT front. I could easily have been dead two weeks ago! However, now I'm over to the nortriptyline I'm much better mood-wise.