I've been feeling increasingly low for days now, often thinking about suicide in a general way. This morning I've awake for a couple of hours now and imagining clearing out my belongings, taking my artwork to the tip, saying goodbye to people on facebook and websites like this, writing goodbye letters to someone special to me and to my children, thinking about the different ways of committing suicide and which would be the most likely to be successful. I feel angry about so many things which in reality I am helpless to change (like selling the house). I envy people who find a way to be happy but can't find any wish to improve my own life. I just want to walk away from everything.