My nephew has just cut his wrists :(

Hi my nephew is 15 he has cut his wrists he lost his dad to suicide a year ago and this morning he has done this! He has extremely withdrawn and stalking his mum who is my sister. My sister got him an emergency app to see calms team in belfast this Thursday. Our heads are away

Is this a cry out for attention?? Because he gets loads of attention and is very spoilt his attitude is wild towards woman lately and he has started beating my sister

He tells her if she shouts at him he's going to kill himself. He sat in his room this morning self harming for the 1st time because his mum wouldn't let him stay off school!!

Any advice or anyone gone through this?

11 Replies

  • Getting attention and being spoiled are irrelevant if you feel that low. He probably can't see the wood for the trees. What support do he have after his father passed away? X

  • Did he have*

  • My grandson lost his dad at age 13 to cancer so don't know if its relevant but he turned on my daughter and she ended up having to have him fostered as he started picking on his younger sister, wouldn't go to school, locked himself away, started smoking cannabis and kept threatening to commit suicide. Think it's hard for a teenage boy to lose their dad as their hormones are all over but they do need professional help. Mine lived with foster mum for 4 months, his other gran for 4 months and with me for 8/9 months but he just gets abusive with everyone - he will be 17 next week and is now under social services care and in a bed and breakfast but I think me throwing him out was a big wake up call as he's quit the cannabis and has now agreed to see a psychiatrist.

    Hope this helps a bit, even if only so you know you're not alone with this kind of thing.

    Good luck,


  • never say to him its for attention. it can make him feel worse and it again. try and get him as much help as possible, if you dont feel like hes getting enough talk to someone else and see if they can help more. just keep trying different doctors if they dont listen.

    self harm can spiral out of control, dont constantly check on him or look over his shoulder all the time as it can make him push himself away from you all even more.

    It could just for a cry of help with depression but its best to seek him help and support him in any way you all can. I hope this helps as i have been suffering from self harm and have undiagnosed depression and have tried to commit suicide more than once and im still here.

  • Thank you all so much for advice. Yes gets counselling every week from the passing of his dad. He has got worse stalks my sister 24/7 won't let her leave house without him etc he has a younger sister who if his mum gives her attention he goes mad and beats them both. He is very girly and has no male friends we think he is gay but would not ask him.

    He does not like blood knives etc so we r all very shocked he had done this :( I just hope calms team get to bottom of problem and sort him out before my sister kills herself with stress

    Thanks again for advice and support and really good to hear your stories xx

  • I do feel it's for attention as does my family but we don't no y cause my sister and my family give him all our time and attention

  • Hiya, obviously you are very worried about your family, and understandably so. There is a lot of information around about self-harm, but self-harming is typically about showing your emotional pain and is a way of coping, same as eating lots of chocolate, drinking, anything. He obviously feels angry and upset and needs to talk about this and find more less harmful ways of expressing himself, saying you feel suicidal does not always mean you wish / want to be dead, it can be expressing how awful you feel. Picture this, being in a foreign country and desperately trying to tell people you are thirsty, but they are not getting it, you panic, you are getting dizzy with it and they just don't get it...the frustration builds..see what I'm saying?

    The beating people is just not acceptable at all and CAMHS need to look at this. (You know that stand for child and adolescent mental health service?), some family therapy as well may benefit. That's also worth looking into.

    Maybe just ask him if he is gay? He could be having serious identity issues. He clearly has some significant problems that need assessing by the team before you can go any further. Given he is hitting people I'd say this to them, and ask for a timescale for them to give an outcome. You could write a letter with your concerns to them? That way they can't ignore the risks to the rest of the family who are all still grieving.

    I totally get your worries, and hope that helps?

  • annie, much as I care and want to help, I have no training.

    I cannot know what his reasons are.

    I can only suggest that you are all totally honest in talking to the camhs so that they get the full picture.

    it sounds a very difficult time for you all, bless you for caring and coming on here to ask.

    let us know what happens.



  • How is your nephew getting on? X

  • Hi my nephew is doing ok he goes to calms team this morning so hope it helps him, he's just really mixed up :( we think he is gay but scared to say we wouldn't Care if he was gay, but we live in a society in northern Ireland if u dress different etc you are bullied sadly. My nephew has told us he is being bullied in school and has been from his dad died, my sister found threatening private mail on his Facebook account. So finally we think we no y he has self harmed and lashed out at his loved ones

    I will let u all no what calms team say. Thank you all xx

  • My daughter was 14 - 15 when she began self harming , its an aweful thing for him and you to go thru , I felt so helpless , She was so angry , like a person I didnt know , Feelin like that with hormones going mad is never easy .. Pills can help , talking , never shout and call him stupid etc its very hard but show love and support , I am sure you do , I really hope he gets the help he needs , my daughter stopped self harming , although she is still down and un happy at times thank god she doesnt cut anymore , All the best to you all xx

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