Suspicious minds: I’m new here! I am... - Above & Beyond

Above & Beyond
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Suspicious minds


I’m new here!

I am successful, have a good family and quite good health: I’ve beaten 2 cancers in the last 3 years (fingers crossed). To be honest, the nest I’ve felt is when I was fighting for life. Now that things are on an even keel, despite some nasty side effects, I am suddenly back into depression, in a strange way.

My wife of 32 years is a wonderful person, who has given me two fantastic children, and nursed me through my illnesses. But now I am repeatedly obsessing about the possibility that she cheated on me 35 years ago, before we were married. I have accused her and she has denied it. And I have no real evidence.

Is this part of the depression or am I going absolutely crazy?

What should I do to get over this, and not lose the love of my life?

5 Replies

I think where ever she is right now you should get up off your arse and go and give her the biggest cuddle ever and talk to her about how you feel about her now, not about something that may or may not have happened 30 odd years ago you are a completely different person now whether you think it or not and so is she, I push my partners away due to depression and when they’ve left I get even more depressed because I’m lonely don’t let that happen to you

Move forward my friend.The past cannot be changed n bringing up what "may or may not" happened breeds negativity n not good for anyone.

U n ur wife..make new memories..focus on the new or what could be for the two of u.

Ur depression could be more feelings of things u cannot change right now.


I know its easier said than done but you just said it. Shes the love of your life. Let it go. Why would you risk loosing something so precious over something that maybe never happend. If you've been married for 32 years then thats already something to be proud of. Chose to be happy. For every bad thought replace it with a beautiful memory of when you too shared a happy moment. And intead of acusing her, communicate it to her with love always in the center of it all. I dont know if this will help but it helped me. I still have doubts but the truth of the matter is I love him no matter what because i have not found any greater love than ours. And if we love then regardless we must forgive. If we cant forgive then there is no love.

in reply to Hidden

That helps a lot. Many thanks for the wise words. He’s a lucky guy, your fella.

in reply to Pandroid

Thank you. He is the luckiest yet i feel privileged to have him in my life.

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