So very lost...

[looby_l00]

recently I have found myself spiralling out of control and falling deep in to the depths of depression. I suffer from anxiety and have recently been diagnosed with Fibromyaligia (although am awaiting neurology appointment to see if it could be MS). I am a mother of 2 under 5's and work full time 12 hour shifts on my feet. im exhausted in every way and drained. My partner of 7 years seems to think I do nothing to help myself. I have been to counselling but that is difficult when you have to take your toddler with you and I have moved locations so can no longer access the service, there is one in my area with a very long waiting list. I feel like im losing everything. I seem to have drifted from friends (who seem to be showing their true colours now), my partner is not helping by telling me to "grow up" (belief that mental health issues and fibromyaligia are fabricated) I struggle to walk, talk, think, eat, sleep. I mumble, wobble around and am in pain. im trying to hide it all and smile but honestly I cant. its so hard. I told my partner recently that I have contemplated ending it. he shrugged me off and is refusing to talk about my health. I have no family close by and feel very isolated. My partner told me I am selfish for even saying I would end it. I just don't know what to do. I need help. I need medication and someone to listen. I don't want to be like this. I hate what I see In the mirror and I feel like I have died and I am mourning myself. I have used samaratins but I really feel like things have taken a turn for the worse recently. I use meditation and hypnosis at home to try and keep calm. I fear this will spiral out of control very soon. I don't know where to turn. waiting lists are long, I don't want to be off sick and lose my job and money (I cant add more to worry about). I have no one.

[Hidden]

Hello loobyloo and welcome to our supportive community.

My goodness it is no wonder you have found yourself spiralling out of control. You have 2 children under 5, work full time, you suffer from anxiety and fibromyalgia and are now being investigated for MS. You have also moved and have a husband who does not understand and refuses to talk about your health.

I really feel for you loobyloo, you have two children under 5, work full time in a physically demanding job, suffer with anxiety and fibromyalgia with the worry of further health investgations. On top of this you have moved area and have no support. Your husband refuses to talk about how you are feeling and your health issues. No wonder you feel isolated, drained and so depressed.

I feel you need help and support urgently loobyloo. Please make an appointment to see your doctor without delay and explain how you are feeling and what is happening. Take a copy of this post with you if you feel it would help.

If your doctor does not refer you to the local mental health team you can refer yourself. You will find their telphone number on-line or in the phonebook.

Keep up with your meditation and hypnosis as you do find this helpful.

Please keep reaching out and stay in touch loobyloo. Feel free to keep posting on here. I have given you details of other Resources which may help you. Thinking of you, please take care,

Lottie x

Other Resources that may be of help :-

Anxiety UK runs a helpline on weekdays between 09:30am - 5:30pm

Mind doesn't offer a crisis line but gives plenty of support and information.

Tel: [phone] (Mon-Fri, 9:00am - 6pm, except Bank Holidays)

E-mail: [e-mail]

Text: 86463

Papyrus are a national charity for thevprevention of young suicide. They offer a specialist telephone service staffed by trained professionals who give non-judgemental support, practical advice and information to children, teenagers and young people up to the age of 35. Tel: [phone] E-mail [e-mail] or text 07786 209697 Opening hours Mon-Fri: 10am-10pm, weekends: 2pm-10pm and BankbHolidays 2pm-5pm.

Rethink Mental Illness directly supports almost 60,000 people everybyear across England to get through crises, to live independently and to realise they are not alone, Tel [phone] (Monday to Friday 9:30am - 4:00pm.

Samaritans is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, to listen to anything that is upsetting you, including intrusive thoughts and difficult thoughts of suicide and self-harm.

Freephone 116 123

E:mail them [e-mail] or visit them at your local branch.

Samaritans also offer a Welsh Language Line

on 0300 123 3011 (from 7pm-11pm only, seven days a week.

SANE offers emotional support and information from 6pm - 11pm, 365 days a year, Tel: [phone]

[koizumi]

Not that it will really help you, but having read the LOTTIESWEB reply, I consider it be one of the most helpful statements to any sufferer I have ever read.