I am 21 years old and I have had tinnitus for 1 year and 2 months. A lot of it has been hell. Say I live until 85. That's 64 more years... how the hell am I supposed to get through:
23360 more days
560640 more hours
33638400 (over 33 million and a half!) more minutes
A) becoming someone I'm not or deeply anxious/depressed
B) Trying to end my life
C) Going insane
It's not like I am going to be constantly distracted by a hobby for each one of those seconds/minutes/hours.
If I suffer, those I love suffer (even though they don't love me), it's not fair.
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jasmineam
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36 Replies
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Reading through your first post, have you told your GP all this and asked to be referred for counselling?
I say this because out of all the things which helped me move forward, counselling was one of the most effective.
I believe the suffering element of T is mainly psychological. I know certain drugs can cause T but it’s the obsessive focus on it which is the biggest problem. If you are still in fight or flight mode due to the anxiety, that will make the T ‘sound’ louder than it is.
I don’t know if this will help, but this is my story and how I dealt with it.
Hi please stay calm I know it’s not easy but remember you are young. Treatment for T is limited but people all over the world are looking for answers and technology is growing.one day there will be answers so just hang on in there
Just to add that the vast majority do move on to a normal happy life despite not having a magic pill yet. Many who hang on to the belief that only a magic pill will fix it , seem to get stuck.
Over the years of talking to many people who have moved on from T, the common thing they say is something like...”oh that, but I only hear it when someone reminds me of it.”, Then they carry on chatting and soon forget again.
The brain can only adapt like this if we get on with our lives and not give it emotional attention. Whilst we give it emotional attention we stay locked into that anxiety (fight or flight) loop which just makes the T seem louder.
So when a form of stress brings the T back to the forefront, just stick to the same rules so the brain can push it away from your awareness again. Obviously try to deal with the cause of the stress too.
I've had t since I was 23 and I'm now 60. I've had a few rough times but on the whole I've managed it well. I've held down a good job, been married 35 years had 2 children etc. Life goes on. I'm having a bad time at the moment, but I know I'll get through it as I've always done in the past.
I’ve had T since the age of 5/6 yr old, no stress, life was good,no worries. It just hasn’t stopped. I’m 67 now and life is still great, just very annoying T and waking me up all hrs. We just fight on.
Sorry TD66 but may I ask why you still hang out on these forums and wake up all hrs when tinnitus is basically your normal state? I mean age 5? I’m genuinely curious. Thanks
Hi Jasmina, I first got Tinnitus back in 1997 when I was 13, I'm now 33. So I got it young, and still like to think I am young. I have been through highs and lows. Not all hope is lost, I have still lived a fruitful life, travelled the world, held down a good job, met a nice partner etc etc. I agree with what ASW says below, seek some counselling and preferably someone with knowledge of Tinnitus. I believe the anxiety associated is a major part of the trauma tinnitus causes. If you think about it, if you're on a long haul flight the rumbling jet is loud but the less attention the less you will notice it. That's the methodology I use when trying to sleep anyway. Counselling and trying to lower anxiety has helped me and will hopefully help you. From time to time it has spiked up and will cause me stress over a period of weeks/months but it always passes and I go back to a normal life.
I feel you. I’m somewhat older however and cling to the hope that if this doesn’t in some way improve some kindly terminal illness will end my abject misery. Given the enormous stress on our terrorised bodies I assume we have a much higher risk of cancers etc now. Often I daydream of being mown down by a drunk driver or some scaffolding collapses on me. But until that happens I suffer and I suffer and I suffer some more on repeat day after day after day and I yearn for the life I lost. It’s like weve been dumped in a parallel universe where the parameters of suffering have inexplicably shifted. Hard to fathom, impossible to come to terms with. Sorry I’m drunk. I do that a lot nowadays. Another way of bringing forward an expiration date.
People come on here for hope, what effect do you think your posts will have on those who are vulnerable?
Yes, some people do get stuck and believe that only a magic pill will fiix it, but the FACT is that most people DO go on to lead a normal happy life and very rarely notice their T.
Why do you want to take away that hope from them? Especially from someone so young.
I agree with you. Just a couple of weeks ago I was really down and could see no light at the end of the tunnel. As you know I’ve had it 37 years, but it really isn’t always bad. I’m on holiday now (yes I know I was going to stay away from the forum) and just breaking the cycle of normal day to day life has made the world of difference. The noise is still there, just as loud, but I’m getting back to the stage where I really don’t care 😁
Life can go on as normal, but you have to believe it can.
Apologies to use you as an example Buddie. I know you’re well meaning but posts like yours are the truly terrifying ones. 37 years of this utter s**t and you cheerily say that just two weeks ago your we’re back to square one and it’s just as loud.
Steve you’re telling me I’m scaremongering but this is another level. Frankly I don’t want to read about anyone that’s had this longer than a few hours. I want to believe I’m a medical outlier and somehow my brain will realise what a total c*** it is and stop the madness.....
But sadly the truth is the truth. Buddie is a projection of all of us in the future
Hi, I can assure you it hasn't actually been 37 years of utter s***. I've held down a good job, had 2 children and generally had a very good life. Just at times my t flares up and seriously drags me down so low that I feel I will never cope again, but I do. Don't get me wrong I absolutely hate it, but what choice have we got? We either fight, which I chose to do, or give in. As I'm writing this my t is loud and will get louder as I take my hearing aids out, but I've had a good evening chatting with friends where I've barely noticed it.
Tomorrow when I wake it will be loud again (I sleep well despite the noise) but I'm on holiday. Do I want to dwell on the noise or enjoy my holiday? I want to enjoy it so I will. It's very complex, but I know from past experience it can get "better". You really do get to the point where you hear it but the brain chooses not to give it attention. So silence to me is normal with my t there all the time but I really don't notice it. The brain is very good at blocking it out, but it takes time.
I really hope you can move on. I know it will get a long journey, but you will get there if you want to. Get help from wherever you can. Antidepressants help in the short term, but my best support comes from my 2 girls. They really don't let me wallow in self pity. If I complain about my t they always remind me I've been down before but that I've always come out the other side.
You’re a remarkable individual. Only T sufferers will know how much strength and courage you’ve shown for nearly 4 decades. I’m just blown away. I’m still very curious to get a reply from TD66. You were 23 when you got hit, so remember/experiences silence. He was 5! So SURELY tinnitus is silence for him and yet still he suffers and can’t sleep etc etc. Sorry but that’s f’in depressing as hell. I mean what chance of adapting if someone whose had it 60 years and has never actually heard silence struggles. I hope he responds. I’m so curious. Have a lovely holiday,,,,you’ve earnt it!!!
I can't really explain how you get to the stage where it doesn't bother you. I can go years without noticing it, but suddenly it's there again and boom all the old emotions rear their ugly heads. Believe me I have been seriously floored by this in the past, but I have got through it.
I've got breast cancer at the moment, so I'm obviously stressed by this, but I really don't want the cancer to take my life, I want to carry on for as long as I can. I'm also losing my hearing which makes the t worse, but what else is there to do?
As I'm writing my t is LOUD, but as in the past, it's starting to not bother me as much as it did only a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah did the AD’s and became extremely ragey to the point of worrying I would hurt family members etc so no can do now. Pop a Benzo now and then, drink in the evenings, not crazy amount but enough to take the edge off. Use a lot of herbs to sleep and cling to my dog in the daytime to keep me above water. I’ve said it before but he’s my reason for staying alive. I’ve never ever been separated from him in 8 years, took him to work with me, holidays he always came etc. He’s my best friend. If I don’t in some way habituate I pray I can endure a few more years of hell because the guilt of leaving him behind haunts me worse than the thought of spending the rest of my days alone and tortured. Once he’s had enough of this life, right now, I consider myself free to go. Obviously people lwith kids and T have to just fight as they know they MUST endure until the end. As it stands that position would be too much for me for to bear so as wonderful as kids are I’m glad I don’t have any. I understand they’re also a reason to go on fighting.
Ingrid I don’t know what to say. You more than possibly anyone in the world deserves to beat cancer. To want so much to live, and to want to help people like me who don’t even deserve it, when you’ve been dealt such a tough hand for so long is breathtaking. Even though we’re strangers I really wish you all the best and send you love. You genuinely have the strength to beat anything.
Apologies. But this person has had this for a year. I’m afraid they already know the deal. Her initial post was every bit as depressed as mine. She knows the score. Yet you inadvertently raise a good point. How on earth does the medical community expect T sufferers to relax and ‘get on with their lives’ when the internet is awash with suicidal posts, stories etc. The Tin genie is out of the bottle and unless they down the web it’s not going back in. Therefore the only way anyone escapes the trauma is if a doctor can confidently tell them in the future, ‘ears ringing?!? No worries we can sort that within a week,’
I mean look at her post. She’s bullet pointing the downward trajectory of her life. Fair to say she’s on a par with myself in terms of the harsh reality of T
I mean come on Steve. Look at all the other posts here and it’s basically people that have had this for decades and are still here, trapped! These are the posts that are truly terrifying, not some drunk guy whose in year 1 and is mumbling and cursing from the T gutter.
It seems you are deliberately ignoring the FACT that most people move on and rarely notice their T. At the same time you are promoting the idea that only a magic pill will fix things.
How do you explain why millions of people manage to cope without sitting on the edge of suicide all their lives?
I’m only in this forum to do one thing, that’s to help people going through the initial panic stage (sometimes suicidal stage) of developing T. Why do I do it? ...because I remember how devistated I felt.
I do feel for those who are ‘stuck’ with it and I’ve even suggested reasons why this can happen. The biggest reasons I believe is negativity and lack of self esteem.
So when I criticise someone for undermining the whole process of giving newbies hope, there is a good reason for it.
I got banned from the TT forum for criticising the fact that they allow trolls in there who are doing exactly that. TBH, I’m seeing a similar pattern here.
If there is an alterior motive to shut me up and persuade me to leave this forum...it’s working.
It’s hard enough reminding myself of the bad times without this crap...
Don’t leave Steve. You’re doing a great job. I’m going to stop posting here. I’m no troll. I’m a lost fool. You’re stronger than being swept up in my misery. Take care my friend. Hopefully we’ll meet again in happier times.
Well if it’s any help, the big thing which kept me going 6 years ago was finding a way to defeat T so I could help others.
In fact, a common motive I see from many people working through their own struggle is that they want to do it for those they love. Maybe so they can be there for their kids or partner.
It’s usually easier and more rewarding to do it for others. I mean imagine a world where everyone just unconditionally helped those around them? We wouldn’t even need money! Sadly it only takes a bit of greed to bugger that dream of Utopia up!
Oddly Steve I was never materialistic. I actually wanted to be a hippy type but I sadly let others expectations of my gifts and abilities dictate my life path. Inevitably stress and ‘misfortune’ then followed. Now it’s all so clear to me where I went wrong. Sadly t doesn’t seem that big on second chances. Although you seem to be an exception offering hope of redemption.
Sadly my anger and resentment over T has destroyed every single relationship I have. I soldier on for the dog but sometimes I find myself hoping he doesn’t live too much longer so I can just slip away too
Aint end of the world bud, I have mine (T) comes with balance problem and vertigo. All in a package. I managed to resolve the balance problem and vertigo is almost gone now. I felt your pain man. Hey i was bedridden for at almost 2 months and Im now a diabetic (D).
My only advise is, don't go all out against it, is like your forming an auto immune to attack your own self - your ear.
The T and D is still with me, is part of me now. I have no choice but to accept it and move on. Funny thing is after i choose to accept it; It gradually got slightly better.
Btw, do try download some Tinnitus masking app like ones with nature sound like rain drops. It will help you cope.. Recently, I tried out Bone Conduction Headphones with those app. Works way much better than expected.
I also love dipping myself into a quiet pool whenever possible man. The water dampens all sounds and the quiet splash of water sound is soothing. I hope this helps man
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