I'm new here, but my tinnitus has been with me for 8 months :( sorry this post won't bring you any happiness.

[jasmineam]

The way my tinnitus started was tragically ironic. I've been abused my dad (physically and emotionally) since I came into this world. On top of that, my first ever boyfriend was manipulative and wanted to take my virginity, so he coerced me into having non consensual sex which traumatised me in August/September 2015. He intentionally done this, ignored me afterwards and left me for another girl within weeks of forcing me to have sex against my will.

To deal with my feelings of depression (not to mention confusion), in March this year (2017), I took Citalopram. On the 10th day of taking Citalopram, I noticed a high pitched ringing in both my ears. I have never had tinnitus before in my whole life, so it was easy to tell the difference. It turns out that Citalopram is listed among drugs which are ototoxic. Ototoxicity is the property of being toxic to the ear, specifically the cochlea or auditory nerve and sometimes the vestibular system. The effects of ototoxicity can be reversible/temporary, or irreversible/permanent. Mine is permanent...

Imagine a loud, high-pitched whistling/ringing sound. Except the whistling ringing is not intermittent like a phone ringing, it is constant. Not just every minute of every hour... Not just ever second of ever minute, but ever millisecond of every second.

For 8 months, there has not been one second of silence. It is every second, 24/7. In the beginning, I was hyper-aware of it, but tinnitus masking therapy did help. Now, recently, it has gotten worse and tinnitus masking therapy no longer helps. I believe it affects both ears, but mainly my left ear.

I cannot live like this. I would rather have the truth than live in false hope, like I have been doing. Not only did it not get better or just stay the same but it has gotten worse over the months! I would have been able to cope if it had just stayed the same, but it has gotten worse. I wish no one would have implied that there was even a possibility of me becoming less aware of it. I DID become less aware after the first few months of having it... But now, it is not my awareness which has changed, but the actual sound has become louder and the tinnitus has a lot more (high-pitched) frequencies than it did before. The only therapy which produced a similar sound to my tinnitus no longer helps.

Cannot put my hopelessness into words. I don't know what is worse, the tinnitus itself or those with minor tinnitus not realising that tinnitus occurs on a spectrum and instead blaming the person who has tinnitus for being weak or having anxiety. The CITALOPRAM caused my tinnitus, nothing else did.

[jasmineam]

Every* None of my friends and family have tinnitus. I feel so alone. Even when they are with me, I feel isolated and held captive by my tinnitus. However, I do enjoy their company.

[28dinky]

Hi jasmin, sorry to hear your story. I have had my tinitus since April an mine is a high pitch whistle that is constant it can get you down an depressed an I have had a couple of meltdowns. I try to think of other people who are worse of , I have a friend who is on the brink of being diagnosed with MS , she also has to deal with tinitus. Keeping busy helps background noise etc though I expect you know this already. I recorded the sound closest to my tinitus an have played it to various friends an family so they can understand what it like. Stay strong there are lots of people out there who suffer it helps to talk on the forum it certainly helped me.

[Mary-intussuception]

Sending Love xxx

[starshine53]

My heart feels for you and the injustice of your predicament. .I too got my Tinnitus from a prescription drug used for stomach acid. But unlike your Tinnitus mine started out full on volume, like a second world war air raid siren was in my bedroom .

Strange as this may sound,when I moved house the noise was not as loud and things settled down a lot. Furthermore, a few people I know told me they too noticed a slight change also after moving house. Moving near the Sea is ideal because you expose yourself to pure white noise even a mile or so from the coast and that has a calming affect on Tinnitus and Hyperacusis.

I wish I could be of more help to you. I'm sure your T will calm down given time this happens in most cases.

Best wishes Jasmineam.

[Kay1986]

Hi, I have suffered from tinnitus for 13 yrs. I have never had any relief during this time.My audiologist at first told me to live with it as in learn to ignore it.Later the advice was to confront it. Well ignoring it is the only way Ive coped with it(not easy though). I have very high pitches both ears and back of head,added to that sound like water dripping in a cavern also a droning sound like a generator in the distance and a background sound (kitchen cooker fan) can cause a music sound like brass band.Now that is maddening! I`ve tried white noise,sound pillows etc. I did find that a slightly open window in car on motorway did mask the sounds, the whistling coming in the window. Also if you are run down unwell or even short of certain vitamins it can what we call make the sounds (tinnitus) spike as in amplified.Even a stroll round a shopping centre or shop with loud tannoy/music can make it spike even a child screaming. I hope you manage to find a way of coping with this awful condition.