Another life changing event .....

[Lindsay6]

Evening . Just feeling a little ' sad' maybe . Apologies in advance that this is rather self indulgent , but I feel a little ' alone' on what has been another momentous day. Today I have took the decision to resign from my job , after one night's sleep because of the screeching tinnitus and piercing headache ( but one must never stop smiling - as I did when I turned the Radio from my beloved Radio 5 to what I hoped would be cheerful or calming music - Come on Feel the Noise by Slade , followed by Vincent and Van Gogh !!) . I have a strong sense of honesty and integrity and knew that working / travelling 4 days ( up to 200 miles ) was just not possible with my tinnitus and its impact . The irony ( there's a lot about !) , that my job was about improving the patient experience was at first amusing but .... I have the most wonderful friends , and will now spend some time trying to relax and think what I can plan to motivate myself to better self care. As Dominic said at the Awareness Day on Saturday , " it's not what is the matter with you , but what matters to you '. I wouldn't wish anyone a 10th of the pain I am feeling now , so why not try another way of being happy other than working . Longer term , maybe I'll find a gentler way of earning my keep . My tinnitus is currently having a big say , but I am not going to let it stop me thinking positively . Thanks

[Lindsay6]

Meant one hours sleep !

[Ruud1boy]

Hi Lindsay,

I feel for you, I really do. I'm almost in tears after reading your post. If it is self indulgent, what the hell. You have to look after yourself and balls to anyone else. In my experience, even people who know that we struggle with tinnitus don't have any real understanding of the level of suffering we have to contend with. Chin up girl.

[Lindsay6 in reply to Ruud1boy]

Thank you ☺We're made of strong stuff .

[Angela-H]

Hi Lindsay, and I think you seem to be a strong person, given all that you have been doing over the past few months! To me, this forum is the only place where we can unburden ourselves with our pain and feelings. Believe me, during my first few months I aired all my true tinnitus head pain - and my feelings of being overwhelmed by it - and the lovely folk on here supported me with advice and virtual hugs.

The driving that you were doing in itself must have aggravated your T. I wish you calmer days - take whatever meds are prescribed - and the clarity to make the right decisions for you, and you alone.

I am away for the next week but will catch up. Love and best wishes, Angela xx

[Traceyannabelle]

Hi Lindsay, just wanted to mention about my job. I actually work in a supermarket four nights a week. I walk round with a pda gun changing the price labels (which can bleep or be silent depending on how I set it) on products or when all that is done help with replenishment (shelf filling). The supermarket (Tesco) is a place with a lot of background noise ie fridges, freezers, air conditioning, tills, customers chatting. This is actually a good place for me to work, the background noise means that over half the time I do not even notice my tinnitus because the sound is dround out by all the other noises. Hope you eventually find something that suits you.

Tracey

[Lindsay6 in reply to Traceyannabelle]

Hi . That's interesting . First me I was capacked if doing the job itself ( supporting Patient Participation Groups , doing consultation for the clinical Commissioning Groups, engaging the hard to reach communities in health care services etc ) , but unfortunately 5 years of tinnitus , now unmask able and no easier times has made me exhausted and not able to coverify a whole district - 22 miles to the office and then some. I need to find something more local as I need to pay the bills . Thanks for caring and replying x

[TriggerThumb123 in reply to Lindsay6]

Hi, I hope you are well. I just wanted to say I often feel I can hear the overhead lights buzzing in supermarkets but for some reason I find Tescos very relaxing. I don't know why. I think I could actually work there myself! Anyway, I'm very lucky as I am semi-retired and my husband still works. All the very best to you. Sue.

[Lindsay6 in reply to TriggerThumb123]

Thank you Sue . My local mini tescos has friendly staff which is nice . I'm still to find a relaxing noise although I can not hear my tinnitus for a second or so if I watch Forest scoring a goal on you tube ! I've been doing yoga three times a week and generally trying to make the most of the situation - but it's still getting a lot worse . I think I must still get upset ' easily '/ deep down - may be without realising it , for example tinnitus people being described as victims , and am very alone with it . But we plod on

[Seashore22]

I am sorry to read this Lyndsey and can certainly empathise. The driving alone involved with your job sounds like a challenge in itself. I do hope you find someting local which meets your needs. Best wishes